


Downers & Highs & Lullabies

by charjace



Category: Austin & Ally
Genre: Drug Abuse, Drug Use, F/M, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 13:27:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 48,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14021241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charjace/pseuds/charjace
Summary: a stroy of mine, written years ago. austin was kicked from his label, and it's not the reason that the public think.





	1. Downers & Highs

Paige was outside the school; her younger brother had already gone in. He was eager to start the new school as a freshman. She wasn't too much. It's not like she didn't have anyone, she did have her brother, but she was a senior so she would have no one in her classes. That wasn't anything new, at least, not since six months ago when she started to distance herself from all her friends and even her family. Letting out a small sigh she rested her head against the wall and closed her eyes, thinking she would just go in when the bell rang and just use the excuse of being new.

Chatter, she could hear chatter of people and their group of friends as they walked into the school. Pulling on her sleeves she pulled on her backpack onto her back and lowered her head.

"Hey. " Rang a voice it sounded like her cousin. But he lived in… Oh he lived in Miami. "She looks like a cousin of mine."

"Yeah? Who?" Questioned a female voice "Hey, Austin what are you doing?"

"Hello." Spoke another male voice as a shadow came into view of Paige. Looking up, Paige saw a guy with blond hair. He was smiling at her and he did look a little bit familiar, but she couldn't place it.

"Hi. Am I in the way?" She questioned, even though she knew she was standing to the side of the school doors.

"No, I just wanted to say hi. Are you new to this school? If so I am Austin. Austin Moon." He spoke with a small grin.

"Austin Moon?" Paige mused, tilting her head to the side. Little stands of her short auburn hair falling into her eyes before adding, "Friends with Dez?"

"Yes, I am." He replied and what she was guessing where his friends came up behind him. And of course one of them was Dez.

"Paige it is you. So good to see you again." Dez said as he engulfed her into a tight hug. When she was put down, she pulled down her sleeves that rode up.

"Same goes to you Dez. I haven't seen you in six months. It's been a long time." She gave a small sad nod and he had done the same.

Next thing the bell rang and she quickly mumbled a small 'I got to get to class.' and hurried off into the school. A little bit glad that she had most likely avoided the question he was bound to ask. ' _Are you okay?_ ' or ' _How are you doing?'_  because she couldn't answer that truthfully.

She walked to each class in a bit of a hurry, it was English now and she didn't exactly feel like being too late. A little late is fine in her books. Walking into the class she went to the back and took a seat, dropping her bag by her feet as she grabbed out her books and a pen. Soon the teacher began to do a name call and she started to tap her pen against the desk. It was a nervous habit she had and could never seem to shake. Something always needed to tap. Roll call was done and the teacher started to dictate what the lesson plan for the year was. Paige took notes every now and then when a piece of paper landed on her desk from beside. A soft sigh left her lips and she opened it.

'Hey there Paige – A.M '

Clicking her pen, she wrote 'Hey. You know passing notes is bad right? – P.W' before sending it back

'I know. But I want to tell you. I can see your pack of smokes hanging out – A.M' the note came back with, making her drop it upon her desk and check her bag. Cursing a bit under her breath she saw it too and pushed it further down into her bag. Getting into trouble on the first day of school was not something she would want, nor does she want her mother to find out about her stress reliever.

'Thank you. Don't want to get into trouble. Thanks for that. – P.W'

'Don't worry about it. Wait after class and I can show you around. I have a free period. – A.M'

'You would help the poor new girl. – P.W'

'Yes I would. So is that a yes? – A.M'

'I do have a free period next too. So…yes. P.W'

Paige smiled a little bit herself as she sent it back. Maybe she could start to make friends again and not just her brother. Her mother would be proud of that.  _'Oh, you're making friends. How wonderful. I told you moving here would be a good idea.'_ She was sure her mother would say. Class ended and Paige had stayed in her seat as everyone filed out. She was taking her time to put her things in her bag when someone sat on her desk.

"That's considered rude in some countries." Paige commented off handily, it was always something her father would always tell her and her brother whenever they sat or stood on the tables at home. So, it was kind of wired into her. Not that she minded. Putting her bag on her shoulder, she looked up and saw Austin… Right… The initials… She should have put it together.

"Come on. Right, time to show you around the school." He spoke with a mischievous smile that made her wonder if he was actually going to show her around, or if he was going to do something else. She flashed him a quick smile, thinking, let's take the risk.

"Okay. Show me." She replied with an equally mischievous look, and gestured her hand for him to lead the way. Of which he did, just a step or two ahead of her. As she followed him, he pointed out rooms, naming them, as well as naming a few people. Using one of the back doors, he exited the school and she followed wanting to know where this leaded.

"We are leaving school grounds now. You can back out now. What do you have last? Because I have Home Ec, and don't want to go." Austin said as he turned to face her. Obviously asking her to continue following him if she wants too, and not because if any other reasons.

"Okay. I have the same class. Not my favourite subject. So continue to lead the way. It won't exactly be the first time I've done this.

* * *

Austin had leaded her towards a small park, a few blocks away from the school and went and sat down on a swing. She had done the same, sitting in the one next to him. He reclined and started to swing, Paige ended up doing the same. It was nice out, the sun was shining and a soft breeze was passing its way by. A few minutes passed before she heard him speak.

"So, there's gonna be a party this weekend. To celebrate being seniors and the last year of school. Wanna go to it? It's on the same night as the senior night at school… Just to let you know."

Paige swung as she thought. Go to school for a senior get together, or go to party? She knew what her brother would say; Party. "Yeah I would like too. It better not be a drag though, otherwise I will leave it."

"It won't be a drag, I'll be there." He replied with a cocky smile and she couldn't help the playful laugh that left her.

"Oh I bet you are the life of the party. Singing, getting everyone in a dancing mood."

"I would… but I'm not allowed to perform anymore. Jimmy, the guy who signed me he said he would ruin my career if I continued to perform."

"What? Is that because of what you did at the award show?" She mused with a little tilt of her head as she came to a stop, tip of her toes digging into the ground a bit.

He gave a small cold laugh and shook his head. "No, that was a cover up. A shit one at that as she apparently did have feelings for me. And she didn't know that I was going to do that. I was actually dropped a week before due to reasons I am not allowed to discuss. But we are letting the media use that as the excuse, you know, because she is signed onto a competing label."

Lips turning down in a frown, Paige replied "Well he lost a great performer and will live to regret it. I know he will."

"That's what my friends say."

"That's because it's the truth. Whatever the reason he had for dropping you, he will still regret it." She gave him a quick smile; pulling her bag in front of her she opened it up and pulled out her pack of cigarettes. "Want one?" She asked as she pulled one out and put it in between her lips before holding out to him. He gave a small nod and took one out, lighting it up with the lighter from the pack. After he lit up his one he handed the lighter to Paige and she lit up hers before putting it away in her bag. They sat there just taking in drags of their smokes, blowing it out in puffs and making small chat. It was possibly an hour before Austin's phone went off. He rolled his eyes as he pulled out his phone and read it.

"Ally, she's obviously in our Home Ec class. She just texted me; 'Where are you? And have you seen the new girl?' " Austin said looking up from his phone "Don't worry, I just texted her back 'I didn't feel too well and went home. And new girl was heading to the bathroom last I saw her.' "

"Hopefully she will believe that. Not that she would care about me." Paige spoke and pulled at her sleeves. Climbing off the swing she put her bag back on her shoulders. "Wanna walk back? My car is there, and I can just flick a text to my brother and see if he can find some other way back home?" She mused with a small nod in the direction of which they had come.

Austin gave a small shrug and nodded. "Sure, why not."

Grinning Paige started to lead the way back to the school. Her car was parked near the exit, she always felt safer having her car near it. To her it meant that she could escape easier. As they walked they talked a bit more and she flicked her brother a text about him needing to get another way home. She made up an excuse about questioning about a dance club. Reaching her car she unlocked the doors and got in the driver's side and Austin got in the passengers. Starting up the car, she heard the radio turn on. The host's voice seemed to be promoting something.

 _'…_ _The new music factory has a big star, Ally Dawson teaching there as well as her rumoured boyfriend and former Jimmy Starr artist Austin Moon…_ ' It cut off when she switched it to play whatever CD was resting in the player.

"Is my place okay? My mother is at work, so no need to worry about a narking parent." Paige questioned as she pulled out of the school and onto the road. In the corner of her eye she saw him give a small nod. "Hey, just ignore the media. Media is full of assholes, I would know. They tried to make my dad look bad."

"Sometimes it's hard."

"I understand."

Arriving at her place she led him in, dropping her bag in her room. She still had a few boxes still full. Mainly because they were full of her dad's things and she isn't sure if she can go through it yet. Austin dropped his bag next to hers. Paige gave him a quick tour of the small house, there was her room, her brothers and her mothers, the living room, the kitchen and the bathroom. It wasn't much but it was what they could afford. "Want something to eat? We have some chips? Fruit; we have a few apples, a banana and oranges?" Paige said as she opened up the fridge and got out a bit of leftover Mac 'n Cheese. Popping it in the microwave and setting it on a timer. "Help yourself. Cups are down there if you want a drink." She pointed to the cupboard next to the microwave.

* * *

It was now the weekend and Paige was getting ready for the party. Austin had said he would pick her up at eight. Over the week she had joined the dance club at the school, made friends with the rest of Austin and Dez's gang. So it was Ally, Trish, Dez, Austin and Paige who hang out together. On the second day, she made a trip with her brother to the mall and they checked out the Music Factory. Jake, signed up for some piano lessons. That had made her smile, he had stopped when their father died and now he was taking it up again. It made her happy. The rest of the week had gone by just as it would. Soon it turned eight and she had informed Jake of where she was going and how to contact her if needed. The knock on the door informed her of Austin's arrival. She opened it and pulled her jacket around her more as a quick breeze of cold air blew by.

"Ready to party?" He asked.

"Of course." She replied with a small nod and headed towards his car after him.

Arriving at the party, they could hear the music blaring as they parked. She climbed out of the car started to head in, Austin not too far behind. "If we split up and you need help, call out my name, or send me text." He spoke in a quiet voice behind her.

"Yeah, but you do the same." Paige counted with a quick nod as they walked into house.

"Yes ma'am." Austin replied with a light laugh, earning a light hit on the shoulder from Paige.

For the most of the party, they did stay together. They only split up to get drinks or to go to the bathroom. The former star was currently off with a friend and out of sight. Leaving her by the kitchen with her drink in her hand, she didn't really know anyone here. She took a few sips of her drink when she saw a familiar burst of coloured clothing, followed by two others. Waving her hand a bit, she called their names and motioned for them to come over. When they walked over, they didn't look happy.

"Where the hell is Austin?" Ally quickly asked, her tone a mix of pissed off and worried.

Paige was a taken back by her tone. "He's here. Why?"

"Where?"

"With a friend of his, I think his name was Justin."

The look on Ally's face told her, that she didn't like him. "Where did they go?"

"Why do you need to know? Not like you're his girlfriend." Paige retorted with a small smirk.

"He needs to convince the Spanish teacher to let him pass." Trish spoke up.

"Uh… He did pass. He can speak Spanish well. You know kind of a perk of having a Spanish speaking friend and taking the class."

"But he was speaking it poorly and he missed the test."

"Nope. Last I knew I drove him to that test this morning. It was a mad rush because he was stuck in the Factory. Maybe he didn't tell you to surprise you on Monday."

"Ally? Trish? Dez? I thought you guys where at the school." Austin questioned as he walked back, grabbing hold Paige's cup and taking a small sip from it.

"Never mind. Goodbye Austin. See you at school." Ally replied and stormed off with a bit of a huff, Trish followed.

"Still on for filming tomorrow?" Dez asked and Austin gave a nod in return. The tall redhead smiled. "See you tomorrow then."

"Yes you will."

Other than that, the party went on fairly well. Austin hadn't drunken much, and he generally drunk soda, unlike Paige, who had mixes of spirits in her drinks. So by the end of the night, to say she was a bit drunk would be correct. Austin drove her home, and she fell asleep in the passenger's side. When they reached her place, he gently woke her up and decided to help her to her room, without disturbing her family.

"Thank you." She murmured as he laid her down upon her bed.

"It wasn't a problem." He murmured back "See you on Monday."

* * *

_There was a silver car sitting outside the little house, with a seventeen year old girl in the passenger seat. Her long red hair was tied back in a high ponytail. She was picking at her nails as she waited; her father had gone in and told her to wait while he went in. And that is what she was doing, but it had been five minutes and she is sure she can hear arguing but decided to ignore it. Closing her eyes she rested her head against the door, opening them up when the door from the house opened, giving off a light. A smile spread across her lips when she saw her father walking towards the car but it quickly faded when a gunshot could be heard and her father fell to his knees. Eyes widened in shock and she struggled to get the door open but eventually got there and running to her dad. She turned him so that she was able to see his face, it was a little bruised from hitting the pavement and a trickle of blood started come from the corner of his lips._

"Dad. Stay with me, okay. Stay with me, you have too." _She croaked out through her tears as she fumbled for her phone one handily. Able to get her phone out she quickly dialled 911 and tried to keep her father awake._

 _It was minutes before the redhead could see the red and blue lights flashing, and she knew it was too late. Her father had gone limp and she could no longer see him breathing. The last thing he told her ringing in her ears '_ I'm sorry, Paige. I love you _.' A cop and paramedic quickly rushed to her. The paramedic came over only to confirm what she knew. Another few minutes passed and her mother came by, she came running at her._

Paige sat up quickly in her bed, her breathing a bit heavy as she pulled her legs in on herself. She realised she was still in what she wore to the party. Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, she let out a small sigh.

"Paige?" Her brother's voice questioned, it sounded as though he was on her floor. Flicking on her lamp, sure enough, there he was. Slowly getting up and wrapping the blanket around him.

"What are you doing in my room?" She questioned with a puzzled look on her face, putting her head into her hands.

"I know what happens when you drink, when you go to sleep." He spoke with a quick yawn. "I know you get bad dreams. And, I'm guessing since… you know. That is what they would be about. I wanted to make sure you would be okay. Is that allowed?" He tried to make a small joke to lighten the little darkness that filled the air.

"Thank you. And, yeah it was about that. But I'm okay. I am, trust me." She replied with a weak smile. Jake shook his head a bit before going and sitting next to his sister, giving her a side hug. She rested her head on his shoulder. "I probably should learn to not lie to you, shouldn't I?"

"Yes, because I can tell especially about that. Remember, you can talk to me about it if you need to talk. You know where my room is. "

Paige nodded, "I do." Letting out another small sigh she pulled at the sleeves of her sweatshirt. "Now, just go back to bed. I will be okay. I need to change out of my clothes and something a little more for bed. Because if right now, my head pounding is a sign of what my hangover is going to be like, I'm going to be in it for a while."

Jake laughed a little "Yeah, I'll make you breakfast for you then. Mum has work tomorrow too."

Paige gave a small nod and went over to her drawers. Jake left her room, saying a quick 'Have a good sleep.' before he shut her door, leaving her alone to change into a pair of pyjama pants and a long sleeved top. She then climbed back into her bed, pulling the covers up to her shoulders before she turned off the lamp and falling asleep.

Morning came around and Paige was lying in bed, her breakfast sitting on the table next to her bed. It was just some eggs on toast. She sat up to eat before lying back down in her bed. She laid there for a few minutes before she reached over for her notebook. Opening it up she turned it a fresh page and grabbed a pen. A small sigh left her as she began to write, the words flowing one after the other. She had filled up a few pages before her phone went off; letting out a small groan she moved to get it from her pocket. Unlocking her phone she saw it was a text from Ally.  _Wow_ , she thought. Maybe her comment didn't hurt her as much, not that it was the intention. She was just stating the truth after all.

 **Ally:**  Sorry about last night. I was a bit out of line there. Maybe it was just the thought of not being there with all my friends. Forgive me?

 **Paige:**  That's okay. I may have been myself out of line. I forgive you.

 **Ally:**  Cool. Wanna hang out today? It's cool if you don't want too.

 **Paige:**  Sure, when and where?

 **Ally:** One and the movies?

 **Paige:** Yeah. Sounds like a good plan. Name the theatre and I will be there. :)

 **Ally:**  Will do. I'll pick the movie? And you choose where we go after?

 **Paige:**  Yep. Just make sure it's gonna be a good one.

Paige smiled a little and put her phone aside, thankful that she didn't cause a disruption in her and Ally's friendship and she is able to amend what happened. To pass the time between now and one, she decided to take a long shower and change into something nice. She ended up wearing a band tank top, a pair of black ripped jeans and her jacket. She brushed her hair, not that it took long it barely just touched her shoulders before doing some simple make-up. She applied mascara, eyeliner and lip-gloss. Her basic everyday look as she liked to call it. Twenty minutes to one and she headed off. Leaving a note for her brother about where she was. The drive was slow but she made it and saw Ally waiting outside. Parking, she got out and locked her car.

"Hey Ally. So what are we seeing?" Paige asked as she walked up to Ally with a smile.

"We are seeing 'Maze Runner'. The book was good so I'm betting the movie should be just as good." Ally replied, handing over a ticket. Paige took it with small nod as Ally walked in, the redhead following behind.

"Yeah, the book was great. I have been dying to go it but just haven't found the time or had the energy."

"That's great then. It also means I picked a good one."

* * *

The movie ended and they left to go to this Karaoke bar place. Paige's brother apparently went on a date there and liked it. So that is where they were heading in Paige's car as Ally had walked there. Finding a spot to park they got out and headed in. Getting in and seated, they ordered a set of Buffalo wings each. They talked about the movie and how they are getting on with school. It was a really nice talk and Paige liked it.

"Why don't you go up there?" Paige mused with a light smirk upon her lips.

"I think that would be classed as cheating. Wouldn't it? I am on a label." Ally replied

"So what? Say I go up, you do too?" She countered taking a sip of her drink.

Ally pursed her lips a bit in thought. "Okay. I guess I can do that. Wanna sign us up?"

"Yeah." Paige nodded before going to sign them up for a slot. After she did that she went and sat back down. "Ooo the performers are about to start." She grinned and picked up a wing and began to eat it. Ally was carefully eating hers, like she didn't want to get messy. The redhead had to try and suppress a laugh that was forming. There were some good performers and some… not so great. But it was all in the name of fun and she always cheered at the end of everyone's songs.

"And now, with Austin Moon's; Can you feel it. Flermy McGergin." The hostess announced and a guy with a very rugged beard came on stage. She had to cringe at what he was wearing. There was a bit of cheering before the music started and he started singing. Paige nearly choked on her bite of food she had in her mouth. Ally clapped her back and asking "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm all good." Paige replied with a small nod and finished off with one more little cough. "Just… He's very good."

"I know, sound almost just like him" The brunette commented. Paige had to make sure she didn't do a face palm.  _Almost?_  She couldn't believe it.

Ally had went up and sung one of Austin's songs, ' _Upside Down'_  and she didn't do too bad a job in Paige's opinion and now it was her turn. She was a little bit nervous, being more of a dancer then a singer did give her a bit more nerves then if she was going up to dance. But nonetheless she got up and the music for  _'In the End'_  from the band Black Veil Brides started. She sang along, with her own little spin of it of course. It wasn't that much different. The song ended and she took a bow before going and sitting back with Ally who was now just finishing off her food.

"Wanna stay longer, or go?" She questioned with a small smile, playing with the napkin she had.

"We can go." Ally replied and stood up, pushing in her chair.

"Cool, and while we're in the car, you can tell me about all the cute guys in this town." Paige said as she herself stood up and pushed her chair in. "And girls… If you want too that is." She added.

Ally nodded and headed out, Paige was not far behind. She made a stop by Flermy's table. Placing her hands down on the table she placed a mischievous smile, it was almost seductive. "Hey hotstuff, see you tomorrow." She spoke with a wink before walking off and following Ally's back to her car. They drove off, Ally talked about all the cute boys she knew off, including Austin and Paige listened and asked questions when she felt it was needed. This was nice in Paige's mind. At least she hadn't ruined the friendship that they started. Hopefully they could stay like this, good friends. She needed friends again, for both her mother's sake and hers.

* * *

It was Monday; the day went by fairly quickly now that she knew her way around. On her and Austin's free period they sat in her car and just listening to bands like All Time Low, Pierce the Veil and Sleeping with Sirens. Both singing their hearts out along to the lyrics, some air guitar was done. In the few minutes before they needed to go back in they shared a smoke. Now they were heading into their Home Ec class, giving them a quick spray of Austin's Axe body spray each to get rid of the remaining smell of the cigarettes. They sat down in their seats and waited for the teacher to tell them what they were doing for period. The lesson dragged on, but Paige jotted down notes so that it did look like she was learning. At the end of the lesson the teacher put up a list of things that everyone had to pick from. She said it was for next week's lesson about budgeting and that they should start thinking about it and who we would want to do it with. The list consisted of:

**Retirement**

**Baby Shower**

**Bar Mitzvah**

**Buying a house**

**Wedding**

The bell rung, signalling the end of class and everyone started filling out while she finished writing down the list. Feeling a tap on her shoulder she looked up and saw Austin.

"Hey. Don't you have to go to the Music Factory today? You can't wait around for me." The redhead mused with a small tilt of her head.

"Yeah, I just wanted to ask if I can come around tonight. I want to talk to you, well ask you something and didn't want to do it at school." The blond male replied, a little bit of fear hidden behind his eyes.

"Okay. That is cool. I'll be making dinner. Wanna stay for it?" She asked and packed up her bag.

"Yes I do."

"Great. See you then." She said and headed out with Austin behind her before he went and caught up with Ally, Trish and Dez. She had a feeling she knew what it was about. Paige headed home with Jake, telling him about Austin coming over tonight and asking if he knew what their mother was up to that night. Apparently she had a date with one of her nurses. Hearing about that made Paige roll her eyes but made her a tiny bit happy. That she was getting over her father… well she hoped this would mean she would stop bad mouthing him. When they arrived home Paige went up to her room to do her homework and Jake did the same.

Austin had flicked a text to tell her that he was heading to hers, which was good because she was nearly finished cooking dinner. She had set up three plates, one for her, one for Jake and one for Austin when someone walked in the door. Paige was confused, Austin not long ago sent the text and it was at least a fifteen minute drive but then her mother's voice rang through the house. "What are you cooking for dinner Paige?"

"I am making lasagna and I guess I can do you a plate too." She called back and her mother walked into the kitchen. Her brown hair pulled back in a ponytail and still in her scrubs from work. "You couldn't get changed at work? Thought you had a date?"

"Then why are there three plates?" Her mother retorted back gesturing to the third plate that was already and waiting for the lasgana to finish.

"Because I have a friend coming over, that is okay right. "

"Yes. I'm glad you are making friends again. You know that is part of why I had us move here." Her mother said as she sat at the table in the small kitchen while Paige got another plate out. "Tell me about this friend of yours. Not into anything bad right? Like drugs?"

Paige gave a small shake of her head. "No. He's not. He's into partying, but that's about it of what you may consider bad."

"Well… that's okay. You used to party didn't you? Before your dad died right?"

"That I did. I stopped, but I went too one the other night, with him. He didn't drink, just so you know."

Her mother gave a small nod. "That's good. I wouldn't want to find you in the hospital due to some idiotic guy drinking then driving."

"I'm starter then to let any guy drive me home while drunk."

"That's my good girl. When is he arriving?"

"In…." She checked the time "Around five, ten minutes."

"I can't wait to meet him."

Paige just nodded and got out the lasagna out of the oven. She dished it up and called for her brother. Not long after she did, Austin arrived, knocking at the door. Jake let him in and they sat down to eat. Their mother talked most of the time that they eat. Asking Austin a lot of questions which made Paige just want to hurry and finish and go to her room, especially when she started a rant on drugs. No one noticed that Paige's fist where clenched as her mother spoke badly about people who took them.

"You know, their father…" Maria, Paige's mother started as she looked towards Austin.

"MUM! Don't." Paige shouted as she stood up, shaking her head. "Just… Can you not do this?" A small huff left Paige and she left towards her room. Not wanting to hear anymore of her mother's words. She knew what her mother was going to say, she was going to tell him about her father and she didn't want that. Not today. Lying down on her bed she felt for the craft knife under her pillow. She was about to pull it out when there was a knock on her door frame. Turning her head, she saw Austin.

"Come in. I'm sorry about her. My mother just doesn't know when to shut up."

"That's okay. Are you? Okay that is?" Austin asked as he walked in and sat next to her, resting his hand on her lower back.

"Yeah. I will be." She replied with a small, weak smile. "So… what is it that you had wanted to talk to me about?"

"Yesterday, I want to ask you about yesterday. How did you know?"

"Austin, it wasn't hard to figure it out. I've only known you, what a week. But I could tell. Your voice was exactly the same, and the moves you did. No one can do the moves the same as another. So, yeah and don't worry. I won't tell anyone. I haven't."

The former singer smiled "Thank you. It would ruin my chances at getting my career back. So, thank you."

"No problem. Hey, wanna watch a movie or two?" She grinned, sitting up and grabbing her remote turning on the TV. "If so, go pick. My DVD's are in the box under the TV."

"I see no problem with that." He said and went over to the TV, picking out a movie and putting it in the DVD player. Paige moved over to make room for Austin to sit next to her, of which he did. She switched it into DVD mode and let it play. During the movie, which was  _Radio Rebel_  she rested her head against his shoulder and he rested his upon her head. As the movie ended, she shifted down her bed to lie down, telling Austin he can pick another movie if he wants. He didn't move so she nudged his leg with her hand.

"Psst, Austin." She said and looked up at him, seeing his eyes closed. Giving a small shake of her head, she laughed a little and moved him so he was lying down. She didn't want him to wake up sore. She then moved the blankets so that they were both covered and she fell asleep next to him.

* * *

Morning came and Paige was awoken by her mother shaking her. She groaned a bit, draping her arm on her head. "What do you want mum?" She asked, she was the only one that ever shook her awake so she knew it wasn't her brother.

"You're going to Dr. Carter today. I want you back into therapy, or at least seeing a therapist until you are allowed off your medication."

"But, I don't want too. They'll ask, and I don't ever want to talk about it."

"You can bring someone along. I can come with you." Her mother suggested which was met with a very quick shake of Paige's head. "Fine, don't want me. But you're going."

"Fine. If it pleases you mother." She replied, a slither of sarcasm lining her voice

With that her mother exited and Paige lay back on the bed, completely forgetting that Austin was there. Had he heard any of that? Oh god, she hoped not. She did not want him to think of her as a freak or anything for needing it or medication. Letting out a small sigh she climbed off the bed, getting changed quickly and going to take her antidepressants for the day. After she did that she went and woke Austin up, asking if he could take Jake to school for her as she needs to do something important. He agreed and she thanked him before she directed him to her brother's room so that he could have some clean clothes. Even though Jake was smaller than Austin by a bit he still got changed. Everyone left; Paige with her mother to the doctors and Jake and Austin to school.

It was lunch when Paige's mother dropped her off at school. Therapy sucked, the doctor just asked the same old questions that her last one did and told her she should keep taking her meds. And that they had another appointment next week. She met up with her group of friends and had lunch. Chatting away, not mentioning why she was absent for half the day, and thankfully none of them asked because she couldn't come up with a good enough excuse. And she's sure Dez would see right through it, and Austin. Paige enjoyed the rest of the day at school, going to Dance Club after school to practice on a routine she's been working on. It's been four months in the work, but she still doesn't think its perfect enough. And she's changed the song so many times. It's gone from  _'Untitled'_  by Simple Plan to  _'Done For You'_  By Black Veil Brides to Pierce the Veil's  _'Stay Away From My Friends'_. But right now it's  _'You Ruin Me_ ' by The Veronica's. Finding the right song was hard for her to do.

It's now been three months since the move to Miami and new school. Paige was starting to feel a bit better then she had when she first arrived. And her mother liked to point it out whenever she was home. But today was one of those days. One where she just couldn't feel right no matter what she did or who she was with. At school she was silent all throughout the day; not really speaking to anyone and responding to the question  _'Are you okay?'_  with a small shrug or a very quiet  _'I'm okay.'_  At the end of school she was supposed to go to dance club but didn't. She just didn't have the energy to do so, so she just went home and went to her room.

Shutting the door behind her, she took in deep breaths. Just like Dr. Carter said any time she felt like harming, but it never worked. Not for her, but she didn't want to lie to her doctor so she always tried it. So she can say she did at least try it. The deep breaths never took away the feeling, just made it more tempting. Throwing her bag to her bed she slowly walked towards her nightstand. Kneeling down in front of it she opened up the draw and grabbed out the small black box. She closed the draw, placing the box on her bed as she opened it up. Inside were a few blades, three all shiny and unused. Taking in another deep breath and letting it out, she pulled up her sleeve. Forearm littered with red lines, some fading away into white. A mix of new and old cuts, the last cut was about a week old. She had done it after a very horrible nightmare. It seemed to be the only way the feeling of nothing could turn into something. And that something was pain but at least it was something.

From her room, she could hear the front door open. Probably just Jake, she thought and he would think she is in Dance Club so she didn't feel the need to give a call out to him. Why bother, he would come in and ask her what was up and she did not feel like answering that. She closed her eyes for a few seconds before opening them again and pressing the blade to her skin. She pressed until she felt a prick which indicated to her that it had pierced her skin and she started to slide it across, watching as blood started it prick its way out through where she cut. The cut allowed her to feel something other than the numb feeling she had. It pushed into her that, yes she was there. Just below that cut, she started to press it again, waiting for the prick before she slid it slowly across. She was just about to make a forth cut when her door opened. She scrambled to pull down her sleeve, dropping the blade as she did.

"Paige? You lied, you are not okay." It was Austin's voice. He was supposed to be at the Music Factory. Why was he here?

"I-I'm fine." She stuttered out, not wanting to look up at him. Strands of her red hair fell in front her face like she was trying to hide her face from his view. "I am."

He was walking towards her; she could hear his footsteps before she saw him sit down in front of her. He lowered his head a bit to try and look at her face, which only made her lower her head more. Austin let out a small sigh before he reached his hands out to hers, pulling them in front of him. Doing that made her move so that she was directly sitting in front of him. He just held onto her hands, he didn't make a move to move her sleeve up, even though it was slowly staining red.

"Paige, can you look at me. Please?" He asked in a soft voice.

"I… You think there is something wrong with me, don't you?" She whispered in a quiet voice, not raising her head.

"No. But you lied to me. Please look at me. I want to see your face. I like seeing your face when we talk. I missed that today. I miss that every time you are quiet."

She slowly lifted her head, giving a small tilt in the process. A small frown spread across Austin's face when he saw the tears that were forming in her eyes "And you still want to talk to me? Even though I have practically pushed you away today? Pushed away everyone." She questioned

"Yes. Of course I do. You're my friend. And I want you to be happy. So, truthfully this time; are you okay?" He asked his thumb was rubbing at the back of her hand.

"No. I'm not."

"Thank you for the truth. Do you want to talk about it?" Paige shook her head and Austin gave a small nod. She didn't want to talk about it and he wouldn't push it. "Okay, can we clean this up then?" She gave a small nod. "Then let's do that and we can do anything you want too."

Paige nodded again and Austin stood up, helping her up and bringing her to the bathroom so that they could clean up the cuts. That way they both knew they wouldn't get infected. She didn't say anything besides  _'Can we go to yours?'_  of which Austin said yes too. The rest of that day was just spent in Austin's room; with her laying on his bed listening to him sing to her. She was wearing one of his shirts as she hadn't changed into a clean one back at her home. The only thing she took with her was her meds which he made sure she grabbed, just in case she fell asleep here. He wanted her to be safe. It was only seven and Paige had fallen asleep on Austin's bed as he sung the last chorus of the song  _'Stay with Me'_  by R5, which was a band that Paige loved and she liked to poke fun at Austin for looking like one of the members. Especially when they watch the movies involving him, but Austin didn't mind it because it always got her smiling.

His parents came home from work and his mother walked up to his room.

"Austin, we got some Chinese's for Dinner. Come down to grab a plate." His mother asked as she walked in to his room. Noticing Paige on Austin's bed she added "Oh, you have a friend over. Why didn't you say? And make her up a plate too, for when she wakes up."

"Okay. I will be down there in a few minutes. And that is Paige, she's Dez's cousin."

Mimi nodded and headed out of Austin's room, leaving Austin to write a small note for Paige saying  _'Just downstairs getting some food. Don't worry.'_  He left it next to her just in case she woke up while he was downstairs and he didn't want her to worry.

* * *

Austin had placed a blanket around Paige and left her plate sitting by his computer. He was just going to let her sleep in peace without waking her, even if it was for food. It would still be there when she wakes up. Austin ate his food and his leg started to shake, making him clench his fist a bit. He tried to shake it off, but it didn't work. So when eight o'clock came by and she didn't show any signs of waking up, he quietly opened up his top drawer. Lifting up the clothes that where in there to get the bag that was underneath. He pulled out the bag which contained a few pills of oxy. He took a quick glance at Paige, letting out a small sigh of relief that she hadn't woken up before he shut his draw and sitting at his desk.

He bit his lip before grabbing out his phone texting Justin

 **Austin:** Hey. I need more very soon. I'm nearly out.

 **Justin:**  You know how much it is. I can get some tomorrow. But you need to pay then.

 **Austin:**  I do, but what if I can't get enough money by then. I only have half the amount.

 **Justin:**  Then you know what else can be used as payment, as long as you have some of the cash.

A small sigh left him and he glanced over at Paige's sleeping form before replying again.

 **Austin:**  Okay. When?

 **Justin:**  After school, before you need to go the Factory.

 **Austin:**  Sure. The usual place?

 **Justin:**  Of Course.

Austin rubbed at his head before he put his phone aside and opened up the bag, shaking the bag so that a few of the pills fell into his hand. He took in a deep breath, letting it out he raised his hand to his mouth. Allowing the pills to fall into his mouth as his free hand reached for the drink he had sitting on the desk. He swallowed and put away the rest of the pills. He usually smashed them and took them that way, but he didn't want to risk Paige waking up. He relied on them too much for anyone to take them away from him and she meant something to him and he didn't want to lose her either. It was a few minutes before he could feel the kick of the drugs beginning to work, easing him down and making him feel better. He changed into some pyjamas and watched a few video's before he decided to call it a night and lay next to the redhead in his head. Austin gave her a small kiss upon her forehead, whispering a quiet  _'Goodnight'_  before he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

_Seeing her father die was a common nightmare she had. It always happened at least once a week and she couldn't do anything to stop it. The blood and the lifelessness of her father lying in her arms. It was a permanent reminder to her. A cruel reminder that she couldn't save him from destroying himself and it made her feel worse. The weeks before she had noticed her father's change in behaviour, noticed the fights he would have with her mother getting more frequent. She was quick to figure it out, which was easy to confirm with a quick look through his draws. He had been doing drugs, ecstasy and heroin to name them. She had pleaded with him to try and help him out of it. She knew of his past history with drugs, in fact that was how her parent's meet. Maria was an intern at the hospital where he recovered from an overdose. But now he was relapsing and she knew her mother wasn't going to help this time. She tried the Father and Daughter day, but that ended badly. The moment replayed and the next thing that happened was a blur, speaking with the cops and going home with her mother, the funeral – all a blur. But why it happened, that stuck with her. She remembered the flat tone her mother used as she told her why he was shot. She had spoken point blank that he didn't have enough money to pay for his addiction and his dealer was pissed off with that. So after he had shot up inside and headed out, his dealer shot him in the back as a punishment. But it was seeing her that the dealer runaway. She knew it was because as soon as she had step out the car, he sprinted. She had to watch as her mother put everything that he owned into boxes like she was ready to sell it. Paige remembers cutting off most of her hair after the funeral and turning up to school the next day. The looks she got hurt her, but not as much as her boyfriend at the time seeing it and dumping her right there and then in front of their group of friends._

She was just about to run when she woke up, her breathing a little heavy. Paige sat up and pulled her legs into her chest, looking over at the clock she saw 12:30 AM flashing in red at her. Feeling something move next to her she looked down and saw Austin opening his eyes as he sat up on his elbows.

"I'm sorry I woke you." She murmured in a voice that was barely there. Watching as he placed a hand on her knee. She was trying hard not to cry.

"Lie down and don't worry about me. Let me worry about you." He said removing his hand and moving a bit so she could lie back down. She did, cuddling into his chest as a few tears escaped her eyes. "Know, anytime you feel like this or like today, you can tell me. Tell me and I will do my best to help you any time of the day or night."

Paige nodded her head slightly and wiped at her eyes. "I'll try."

"That is all I ask." He replied, kissing the top of her head. Knowing that nothing could be promised, but it would be tried.

* * *

The weekend rolled round and Austin was having a movie night at his house while his parents were at this thing for mattresses. Invited were; Dez, Trish, Ally, Paige and Jake. It was to start at eight and everyone was to stay the night. Paige and Jake had arrived a little early to help Austin set up the living room. Leaving space for dancing and making sure there was enough room for everyone. Cushions and blankets were laid out and a pile of DVD's were lined up for the night. Jake brought in the popcorn and set it on the small table while Paige and Austin danced and sang along to the song  _'Did you have your fun?_ ' by R5. They were dancing very close and intimately.

"Hey guys, I hope you know that there are others around." Jake commented, pointing behind him as the rest of the gang filed into the room. "So, keep your bedroom stuff you know, in the bedroom."

A light laugh left Paige's lips "We aren't a couple you know that."

"I didn't say that you were. Just said keep anything you would do in the bedroom out of our view."

"Dude, we have never." Austin replied as he turned off the music and turned on the TV. Everyone filed in taking a spot each on the floor. The movie started, the opening credits to  _'Labyrinth'_  playing. While the movie played everyone passed around the popcorn and watched quietly, unless a song played and then they all sang along. Each taking turns in the  _Dance Magic Dance_  bit. The next movie was put in and that was when everyone started to doze off, by the end of the movie everyone had fallen asleep. By the time morning came around everyone was spread out upon the floor, blankets were half covering everyone. Austin was the first one to wake up at seven, with Paige's head lying on his stomach he had to carefully move as to not wake her or anyone as a matter of fact. In succeeding he walked up to his room quietly shutting the door behind him so he could take some oxy before anyone would wake up. As the effect was starting to kick in the door opened, he pushed his draws shut and leaned against them.

"There is a thing called knocking." Austin spoke as he saw Ally walk into his room and sit on his bed.

"Didn't realise I needed to knock." Ally replied looking up at Austin

"You do. This is my room. It's called being polite. What if I was changing?"

"Whatever." She said dismissing his look before asking "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, of course you can."

"Okay. What are you and Paige? You guys seem to be a couple." Ally spoke, looking towards the ground. "So, are you two together and just not telling us?"

"No. We are friends, just like you and me. Friends. "

"If  **we**  are friends, then why did you say you love me at the award show?" The brunette asked looking hard at Austin, wanting an answer from her friend.

"The media was going to need an excuse, my fans were gonna need an excuse as to why I am not making music anymore. Jimmy had actually let me go a week before that. And before you ask, I cannot tell you why. Jimmy suggested that and he would do a public firing about it because you are signed onto Ronnie's label."

"So it was just an excuse. You played with my emotions, for a cover up for what Austin? Tell me."

"No. I do not have to tell you, I'm not allowed to tell you. And if that is all you wanted to ask, we can go back downstairs." The former star said raising an eyebrow in a questioning manner.

"Do you know if Jake is single?"

Austin cringed a bit before he replied "Ally, he's fourteen, a freshman at that. You freaked out about me staying back a year and he's… not single. Also he is Paige's brother. I thought girls never went after girls' brothers." The Jake being taken was a lie. He was single, she just wasn't his type.

Ally let out a small sigh. "We better head down then before the other's wake up."

"Oh shit. I should wake Paige up." Austin said before he sprinted downstairs to wake up Paige. He gently nudged at her shoulder, leaning down to whisper in her ear. So that Ally couldn't hear as she walked back down. Paige woke up with a small groan before she hobbled off to the bathroom where she had put her medication. Austin had put a cup in there so that she could wash down the pills easy. Paige didn't want the rest of them to know that she was antidepressants, knowing as that was part of why she lost her first group of friends. And now that she had made friends, she didn't feel like losing them now nor ever. She took the pills before heading back out seeing everyone waking up and Austin in the kitchen with Ally. It looked like they were making pancakes. That made her want to laugh a bit, she was sure if Austin could, he would eat them for every single meal. She went into the lounge, to try and make a grumpy Trish smile.

"So, when do you and Austin feel like telling us about you guys?" Trish asked as she pulled a blanket around her shoulders. Paige tilted her head to the side, unsure of what she meant.

"Yeah, we know you two are going out." Dez blurted out in addition to what Trish had said.

"What? Oh, no. We aren't. Why would you think we are dating?" Paige mused as she grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around herself like Trish did.

"They way you too act around each is an indicator."

"We act like friends who get along." She was still confused as to what Trish was going on about.

"And he seems to be happier when he's been around you after he got knocked off by Jimmy." Dez added.

"Well… As far as I and he both know we are friends."

"We saw the end of your dance yesterday."

"That was just that. Why do read too much into this? Is it because he won't be with Ally?"

Trish shook her head. "While it would have been nice to see it, I knew how Ally felt, you have made a great spark in him that none of us could."

"That's great, and if that's the case I will continue to be his friend and hope he continues to be mine." Paige grinned and grabbed a handful of some of the leftover popcorn before Ally's voice rang saying that breakfast was ready for everyone.

When everyone left, Paige told Austin about her talk with Trish and Dez. A small laugh left Austin and he told her about the chat he had with Ally. They couldn't see it, how they could think that they were a couple. It just went over their heads, but it stuck in their minds as they separated for the day. What if they did date? What would happen? Would their friendship grow or fall apart? Austin had seen Paige at her almost worse and didn't leave. He saw the blood and the cuts, the scars. But would Paige leave Austin if she saw him at his worst? Seeing him take the pills? Seeing him starting to experience withdrawal? No, Austin didn't want to risk that. She meant too much to him to see her go because of his dependence on the drug. It was almost like she was a drug herself that he couldn't get enough off. Or that he wanted to stop having.

Paige was scared of risking it, what if she did something too far and he finally walked away? That would just break her, losing him because she couldn't tell him how bad she had gotten until it was just a little too late.

* * *

Austin and Paige just shook off the thoughts of them dating each other and continued to go about their days like it was never brought up. Ever since Austin saw her harm herself, he has been going with her to her appointments with Dr Carter. It allowed her to be a bit more open to her doctor as noted by Dr Carter, she realized a bit more when he was around, but still not a word about her father and what she witnessed. Tuesday, every morning making her miss out on first and second period, and well Austin as well. This had been going on for a month now. They were both sitting in Dr Carter's office waiting her arrival; she seemed to be running late. When she arrived she ushered them both into her room, taking her usual seat as did the teens. After getting comfortable Dr Carter pursed her lips and looked at the pair.

"Paige, today I was hoping we could talk about your father."

Paige shook her head. "I told you, I will never talk about that day."

"You can't just remember all the good things he did."

"But I want too. He was a good man, he loved me. He was going to try, for me."

"Paige." Dr Carter spoke with a small shake of her head. "You need to talk about it. Your mother informed me that you were there that day. That you saw him getting killed."

The redhead clenched her fist tightly and shook her head. "I said I didn't want to talk about it. Just get on with the other questions, please."

Austin had reached out his hand to put over her hand as it started to tap. He rubbed his thumb against the back of her hand in a soothing manner. He didn't know that she saw it, in fact, all he knew about her father was all the good things he got up too before he died. And he just assumed her father had died of something natural.

"I can't, your mother asked for me to get you to talk about this. She said it would help you."

"I…I'm not talking about it."

"Okay. I won't force it. But, I need to ask, what you did with the missing sheets off of your mother's perception pad." Dr Carter asked as she looked Paige, watching as Paige pulled back into her chair.

"How dare you accuse me of stealing from my mother? How dare she accuse me? I would never do that." Paige fumed, standing up. Then something clicked in her head "Oh how dare she think I would start doing drugs, not after what I saw what my dad went through. How could she think that?"

"Maybe because she's missing a few slips of them."

"Then maybe she's using and trying to blame me. I would never use unless actually prescribed." The redhead then stormed out of the room, Austin quickly following her out. She walked to her car, climbing in behind the wheel. When Austin got in she started to cry. "I-I'm sorry." She murmured as she lowered her head. "I… I just can't believe my mother would ever think I would do drugs."

"That's okay. Maybe she's just scared you'll end up like your father and was concerned."

"I get that, but she stopped caring about my father months before his relapse. I… I don't want to go to school today. I'm gonna call in sick, I can drop you off though." Paige said and wiped at her eyes before she started up her car. Pulling out she started on her way to the school.

"If you're like this, I want to be with you." Austin replied "To help you."

A light smile spread across her face and she nodded, taking a right at the next set of lights. Heading towards her house, hitting the play button on her radio, letting the music fill the silence that had fallen.

They just spent the day in her room; talking, laughing and dancing around her room. After a while she opened up her window and sat on the sill before she grabbed out a cigarette, Austin following suit. She ended up placing her feet on his legs as she looked out the window.

"You know, you didn't have to ditch school for me. I would have been okay. Barely okay, but if I did get bad, I would have flicked you a text."

"I do know, I just saw the way you reacted and wanted to make sure you were going to be okay. A text wouldn't have been good enough."

"Well… Thank you. I am really surprised you are still my friend." Paige spoke off handily as she took another drag of her smoke, blowing out the greying air through the corner of her lips.

"Why is that?" Austin questioned with a tilt of his head. "I told you I would always help you."

"Because before I moved her, my hair it was longer. Maybe Ally's length but after the funeral for my dad, I got really down and grabbed a pair of scissors and attacked my hair. I got dumped by my then boyfriend at school, in front of my friends. Then, I told them that I got diagnosed with Depression and they started to back away and I did too, and that is when I started to… cut."

Austin frowned lightly and placed his free hand on her one. He pulled gently bringing her closer. "Those guys are idiots. You are a wonderful person, and your ex is a complete idiot. You look great with short hair. Even though right now, it's longer then when we meet. I still like it." He said as he ran his hand through her red hair, bringing it out in front of them. "Still looks as pretty."

Paige gave a small tilt of her head, she hadn't noticed that. She had let it grow instead of cutting it every month. Maybe that's how her mother noticed the change in her happiness. She took her last drag of her cigarette, putting it out and moving herself closer to Austin, resting her head on his shoulder as he finished of his smoke. Letting out a content sigh, Paige wrapped her arm around Austin's waist. He started to sing lightly, it was one of his songs –  _Superhero_. She began to hum lightly along. When he finished singing, she pulled away to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. He smiled a little at that as he watched as she climbed off his legs and the window sill. Paige turned on her CD player and grabbed hold Austin's hand before dragging him into the middle of her room. Smiles playing on their faces as they slow danced to the song playing through her speakers. Her arms had made their way around his neck as his made theirs around her waist. They swayed a bit with their foreheads pressed together and they started to sing a little bit. As the song ended they were smiling, Paige lifted her head a bit.

"Thank you." She whispered "For a lot."

Austin gave a small nod, his head leaning in towards her. "Can I?" He murmured and Paige nodded her head, closing the gap by standing on her toes. Their lips meet; it was a slow, soft kiss. It lasted for few seconds before they pulled away. Soft smiles played upon their lips.

* * *

They did nothing about the kiss. No changing their friendship status to dating. No dates, just continued on like it was a normal thing that happened between friends. But it left them thinking again, but Austin was even more hesitant because of what he heard at the doctors. He didn't want to lose her if she found out about his secret and it looked like he would if he told her. Weeks went by and the dance club was having a show case and Ally was helping her with her makeup and hair. Her outfit was for the dance was a long black dress; it ended at the middle of her claves. She wasn't going to wear any shoes, and had a black bit of fabric wrapped up her arms so that she could cover her arms from everyone. When her makeup and hair was done she thanked Ally with a small hug before she left to go and take a seat in the hall. Paige was a little nervous about doing this dance, because of what it meant to her. She was using it to express how she felt about her father and his death. Letting out a small sigh, she waited in the wings for her cue. The music started to play, The Veronica's  _You Ruin Me_  started to play as she took centre stage. The spotlight highlighting her as she danced across the stage; her movements slow, delicate and show casing her sadness towards the audience. Her dance ended with her on the ground, looking like she was crying and the truth was, she was trying her best not to cry. She was the second to end performance. The last one was most of the club doing one big number, which she backed out off needing the time to cool off.

Everyone was filing in and out of backstage, finding their friends and family. Paige was sitting in the room she used, her head in her hands as she tried to control her breathing. She had only realised what the date tomorrow would be, a year. A year since she saw her father died. Tomorrow it would be a year she had been without her father in her life. She heard footsteps coming towards her and she didn't look up.

"Paige? How are feeling?" It was Jake's voice, he was getting closer to her and she felt his hand on her leg. "Paige, please talk to me. I know what that dance was about, and with tomorrow. Please, talk to me."

There was no word from her, she just stayed silent. A small sigh left Jake's lips and he stood up to go talk to the others outside. She could barely make out what they were talking about but she knew it was about her. Another set of footsteps could be heard, actually a pair of them.

"Paige, I know this has to be hard." Dez's voice spoke as someone sat on either side of her. "I barely knew your father, my uncle because of my dad not wanting us too. So I'm not sure what to say here really. But can you please say something."

She shook her head lightly, her breathing a bit heavy, tears streaming their way down her face. She felt an arm wrap around her shoulder and smelt the familiar scent that Austin wore. And almost like out of habit she leaned into him.

"It's going to be okay Paige. You will be okay." Austin spoke with a soft voice. "Let's get you home and into bed. You can rest this all off."

A small nod came from Paige "I… I don't want to go to mine though. I don't want to see my mother."

"That's okay. I'll take you to mine and get Ally to drive your car to yours. She isn't that far from where you live."

"Okay. My keys are in my bag." Paige said as she was helped up by Dez and Austin. Dez grabbed her bag and held it out to her; she grabbed out her keys and passed them to her cousin so that he could give them to the singer. They then walked out of the room, Paige being bombarded with questions while Jake told them to just stop asking and let her go. She'll talk to them tomorrow that she needed some space.

Austin drove them to his place, following behind her as she walked up to his room. As she walked, she began to undo the fabric around her arm. Reaching his room she chucked the fabric to the side, like it was causing her a problem. She couldn't get rid of them faster.

"Austin, can you get the zip on this. Please." The redhead asked as she dropped her arms from trying to reach the zip.

"Sure." He replied and walked behind her to undo her dress; she shrugged her it off her shoulders and let it fall to the ground. Austin stepped back to go and grab her one of his shirts to wear. She shook her head, and sat down on his bed.

"My parents would kill me if you were in my bed in your underwear." He said as he held out the shirt for her.

"Okay. Then can I have a hoodie? I like those, they're nice and loose fitting."

"Of course." He said before going and grabbing one of his hoodies instead, leaving the shirt on the ground. He handed it to her, allowing her to put it on before he climbed on his bed next to her. Wrapping the blankets around them Paige let out a small sigh, resting her head on his chest.

"I want to tell you the story. I know you know parts. Little things, but I need to tell someone and I don't know who else to tell that won't make me feel worse." Paige spoke, her voice a little quiet. Austin gave a small nod and she continued "Right, Tomorrow it will be a year. A year since my dad died. A year since I saw him murdered in front of me. He was shot in front of me while he… after he shot up on heroin inside the place. We were having a day together, but he was getting restless and on our way home he made a stop, to his dealer. I didn't know that then, that was where we were going. But, he was low on cash and his dealer tricked him, they said he could take some then and pay for it all next time. That didn't happen, because while my dad walked out, the dealer shot my dad in the back. I rushed out to him, and he died in my arms. He said he was sorry, and all. I… I don't ever want to forget him, I miss him so much. He had ecstasy on him when he died and there was heroin in his system. He was going to drive us home high and I wouldn't have known. It scares me at times, what if he had driven us? What if we had both died? My nightmares generally consist of that day."

"But you're here, and you are doing okay. Even if it is barely but you are with help." Austin spoke in a reassuring voice, rubbing at her back in a soothing motion; He could hear the wavering in her tone.

"I know." She whispered "I don't know what would happen if someone else I knew was like that. I do know I would try and help of course."

"Then you are lucky no one is like that." He said, biting his lip a bit. Mentally slapping himself at that lie he just told her.

* * *

An hour went by as they just talked, Austin managed to make her laugh, elevating her mood to a better state then it was then she was before. They were silent for a bit before Paige spoke "Hey Austin" She said moving so that she was lying on top of him, kind of, half her body wasn't on him, just half. She got a small hum in reply. "Tell me when to stop."

Austin tilted his head slightly in confusion but it went away when her lips met his and he melted into the kiss. His hand went up to rest upon her cheek. When Paige pulled away, she smiled lightly. "I think I want to date you." She murmured leaning down to kiss him again.

Pulling away just slightly, he asked "Are you sure? You want to date me?" His breath ghosting over her lips as he spoke.

"I do. But if you don't want too, I'm okay with that." She was stopped by his lips connecting to hers. A smile spread across their lips as they kissed.

"I do too." He whispered against her lips.

They kissed for a few minutes, Paige's hand slowly wondered under his shirt and he pulled away a bit.

"You wanna stop?" Paige asked, moving her hand away.

"No, I…" He started but she caught the drift of what he was trying to say.

"First time? That's okay, like I said before. Tell me when to stop and I will."

Austin nodded lightly. "I expect you to do the same."

"Of course, do you want to continue?"

Her question was met with Austin pulling her closer to him so that he could kiss her. Shirts came off; a little bit of laughing came about when the hoodie she was wearing got stuck. But they didn't stop; hands roamed each other's bodies. Austin peppered kisses along her arms before they moved around so that Paige was underneath him. She guided him when needed; this wasn't her first time doing this. They took their time in doing it, a lot of kisses and clashes which equalled some laughter. When they were finished they cuddled into each other. Paige kissed Austin's chest as she closed her eyes while his arms went around her. The pair slowly fell asleep next to each other.

Morning came around and Austin was up before Paige, he slowly tried to move out of bed without waking her but it didn't work because as soon as he moved off the bed she sat up. Austin mentally cursed at himself and he could feel his leg starting to get restless which means he would get crabby in half an hour before he felt like itching.

"Morning, you want to take a shower? Bathroom is, well I'm sure you know where it is." Austin said with a small smile, trying to quickly think about how he would go around trying to get his fix so that she wouldn't see.

She nodded her head, getting off the bed herself, walking up to Austin and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. She grabbed the shirt off the ground, pulling it on as she left his room. When she left, a small sigh of relief left Austin's lips and he walked over to his draws and pulled out the bag of oxy. He walked over to his desk, dropping the bag on the desk. He ran his hand through his hair as his leg shook uncontrollably. Running his hand over his face he took in a deep breath and got out a few of the pills, shaking them onto the desk. He stared at them for a few seconds, trying to decide how he was going to go about it. Biting his lip he swiped the pills into his hand before he threw them down his throat, swallowing them with the water in his drink bottle. The former star picked up the bag and was about to pour a few more pills into his hand when he heard Paige's voice coming back up the stairs. She sounded upset. He quickly stashed the bag into the side draw, watching as Paige came into his room. Her eyes were red.

"Paige? What's wrong?" He asked quickly moving to her side. Wrapping her up in a hug, her arms made their way around him. By the way she was squeezing, he could tell she was upset. Pressing a small kiss to the top of her head, he pulled away a bit. "What is it?"

"C-Can I get the truth from you?" She asked in a small voice, pulling away completely, that was when Austin noticed something in her hand.

"Of course you can."

"Where did you get this?" She held out the piece of paper to him, he slowly grabbed hold of it, flatting it out from its crumpled state. The look on Austin's face dropped from concern to guilt. It was one of Paige's mother's prescriptions pages. He couldn't come up with a great excuse for it, especially as it had his name on it and a prescription for oxy. "Austin, if you're dealing, I need to know. My mother never wrote this for you, this isn't her hand writing. It's not even yours."

"I'm not dealing drugs." It was the truth. He wasn't dealing, just taking. "Justin was blackmailing me. He, you know, deals drugs at school and said I needed to get him something like this."

"Then why isn't it in his name? For him? Austin, what aren't you telling me? Why was he blackmailing you?"

"Nothing for you to worry about, I promise."

"It's too late for that. He's gotten you to steal from my mother. Which she thought was me."

"I'm sorry. I should have confessed, but I didn't want to make you feel bad any more then you were."

"Okay… I believe you, but please don't lie to me again or steal from my mother because next time, I will tell her."

Austin gave a small nod and she kissed his cheek, before leaving to the shower that was now warm enough for her. When she left this time he shut the door behind her and went back to the computer desk. Grabbing out the bag he grabbed a few more and popped them in his mouth, swallowing and waiting for the effect to kick in and his leg to slow down and stop. A few minutes passed before he started to fell drowsy, this never happened _. Oh shit, did I take one too many?_  He thought as his head rolled a bit. He stood up from his computer to try and walk it off. Seeing his door open he saw Paige walk in, her hair was damp and she had his shirt back on.

"That was a quick shower." He commented

"Yeah, it was because a realisation hit me. You weren't dealing, were you?" She asked, her voice shaking. Implying that she knew he wasn't and that she was more asking if he was using. Austin's eyes closed his eyes and gave a small nod of his head before he stumbled forward a bit. He couldn't lie to her he promised her, stumbling again he passed out on the floor.

* * *

Paige's jaw dropped as Austin fell to the ground, grabbing for her bag she quickly pulled out her phone, dialling 911. After calling and asking for an ambulance she knelt down the ground, feeling for a pulse. There was one, it was weak but it was there. She put his head in her lap and began to whisper to him.

"Please, stay with me."  _Oh god_ , she thought.  _No, not today_. "Austin, stay with me. I will help you with this. We can get you into a rehab centre. I'll visit you every day. All you got to do is hold on. Hold on. Don't let this take you."

She kept on whispering to him, tears starting to fill her eyes. She barely noticed his mother walk into the room. The only indication of her arrival was the scream that left her, making Paige turn her head.

"Mrs Moon. I… I called the ambulance. They're on their way." Paige managed to sob out. "It's oxy."

"He didn't need to take it anymore. His injury healed and he was fine."

"He thought he did. It's called addiction. Your son got addicted to it."

Soon the ambulance arrived and the paramedics came up to take Austin away. Paige wasn't allowed in ambulance. She wasn't family so his mother went with him, leaving her alone with his father. Mike asked what had happened and she told him what she knew. She couldn't stand it there, being there and him not being there so she went and grabbed his keys, pulled on a pair of pants. Paige drove to the hospital in Austin's car; finding a parking spot she parked and rushed into the hospital. She found Mrs Moon passing in the waiting area, she was about to walk up to her when she felt someone tug on her arm. Turning her head she saw her mother, looking down at her arms she saw that they were exposed.

"Paige, do you have something to tell me?"

"No, I'm here for a friend." Paige said, trying to not do this here and now.

"Is that friend Austin Moon?"

Paige cringed a bit, can  _she not be his doctor on this_  she pleaded in her head. "Yes."

"Well, you can't see him. Now or ever, you got that." Her mother dead-panned

"I will see him. He's my boyfriend. You can't ban me from seeing him."

"Yes I can. Paige, he's an addict. He was brought in here for an overdose. He probably is the one that stole my pad. Did you know that?"

"Yes I did mum. I'm the one that called and … I only found out this morning about the prescription pad."

"He's a bad influence and you can't see him. I don't care that you are eighteen; I will go and get a restraining order on him. And now, Paige tell me about your arms." Her mother gestured towards her arms, the cuts and scars on display.

"Why do you care? I cut, yes. Why? Maybe the same reason I cut my hair off? Maybe it's because my friends disappeared from me. Maybe because I have a mother who only ever bad mouths her daughter's father in front of her, when she knows that is a sensitive topic to her daughter. Or maybe it's because I'm fucking depressed and all you care about it me getting better, all you care about is me not being depressed anymore. Dr Carter knew about the cuts, but what she told me to do never worked."

"Self Inflicted wounds are bad for you. How do you expect to yourself a boyfriend?"

"Or girlfriend. But I already have one, Austin." Paige retorted back.

"No. You can only like one sex, and Austin isn't going to be your boyfriend. I will personally see to it. I have been assigned to help get him into rehab. And if I have too, I will put a ban on you from going."

"Mum! I like him so much. I would die without him… I love him." At hearing her say that she looked down, she had never so much as said the word love since her father died. Her mother took a step back, reaching for a phone at the desk. Paige could faintly hear her call for security, but the redhead just shook her head and walked out. She would see him. One way or another, she would. Just before she drove away she sent Mrs Moon a text saying:  _Please tell Austin that I'm sorry I can't be there. My mother won't allow me. I do really want to be there for him._

After she sent the text she drove home, not bothering with school. She had sent a text to her friends about her not coming in and that Austin was also sick and wasn't able to come in. She didn't want to tell them the real reason. It was eight at night when her mother came home. Paige was in her room, where she had been all day wearing Austin's clothes. She had also been smoking a cigarette, which she is sure is why her mother walked into her room in the first place.

"Paige, sweetie. Why are doing that to yourself? That will kill you." Her mother was met with silence and let out a small sigh. "Fine. But, I have something to tell you. You won't like it. It's about Austin. He… He ended up having a seizure and died due to his drug intake."

Paige shook her head. No, this could not be happening. It could not. She could not lose another person she cares so much about, a year from each other. She doesn't know how she'll cope with it.

"I'm sorry Paige." Her mother spoke in the same voice she did when she told her about her father. She wasn't sorry at all, nor would she ever be.

"Out. Get out! NOW!" Paige yelled, pointing to the door. Her mother did as she asked and walked out, shutting the door behind her. As the door shut she broke down crying, screaming into her pillow.

* * *

It's been a week since Paige was told Austin died and she hasn't spoken to anyone. Dez came by the other day, but he didn't seem too effected by his best friend's death. How is he not breaking down? Paige had wondered, maybe he was putting on a brave face? She had heard no word about a funeral at all. Maybe her mother was keeping on her word about never seeing Austin again, even if it was at a send off. Paige never left her room, only ever to go the bathroom, to shower and just put on the same shirt and pants. It was after school, so all her friends would be at work, Jake on a date. He told her about it, hoping it would make her happy. There were fresh cuts littering her arms now, she hadn't done it for a month before now. And her hair had been recently cut, back to its short length. Hearing a knock on her closed door she ignored it like she always did. But whoever it was didn't seem to care and walked in.

"Paige? How are you feeling today?" It was Ally. The redhead sat up slowly on her bed, the redness of the cuts showing. Ally frowned a bit but didn't say word about it. "We know that your dad died because of drugs, so we get why Austin doing them has caused you too not want to see him, but he misses you."

"Why are talking like he's alive?" Paige questioned, Ally couldn't be that far into denial of her friend's death.

"He is alive."

"No. My mother said he died. T-That he had a seizure."

Ally shook her head. "No Paige, he's alive. He's just in the hospital. Well now they're moving him to a rehab centre. Where he will be completely off oxy; apparently one of the nurses had been feeding oxy into his system after he snapped at her, and she didn't want him to do it again."

Paige started to cry, her breathing heavy and Ally moved closer and wrapped her arm around her. Letting Paige just cry. After she was done, Paige pulled back and wiped at his eyes. "C-Can you take me to him? I wanna see him."

"Sure, they're gonna take him in an hour so let's go now."

Paige nodded and stood up, heading out the door and to Ally's car. Ally not that far behind her and climbing in the driver's side, driving them to the hospital Ally stayed silent and so did Paige. When they arrived Ally told her Austin's room number and where he would be. The redhead thanked the brunette before heading into the hospital. She was careful to not bump into her mother, and a sigh of relief left her lips when she saw no signs of Mrs or Mr Moon. Leaning against his door, she knocked on the frame to alert him of her presence. Austin looked up from his bed, a smile spread across his face at seeing her; he motioned for her to come in. As she walked in she shut the door behind her and she sat down on the side of his bed, holding his hand in hers.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." That was all that Paige was able to say to him as tears started to form in her eyes. She watched as his scanned over her, resting on her fresher cuts. "I am sorry. I… I thought you were dead."

Austin shook his head and lifted his hand to her cheek, she leaned her head into the touch. "Why would you think that?" He asked leaning into to place a small kiss on her forehead, while she leaned into his movement.

"My mum, she told me that you died." Paige managed to get out after a few shaky breaths. "I couldn't understand it. She was so monotone about telling me, even after I had told her that you were my boyfriend. She so didn't feel any bit sorry. But I guess, Dez not having a freak out should have told me something was up. But, I couldn't get passed the fact that you apparently died."

"I'm sorry too. I did drugs."

"You got addicted, that isn't something that you can control." Paige countered a small smile upon her lips as she felt Austin run his hand through her hair.

"You cut it, I still love it." He said which made her grin even more. She leant down to kiss him lightly. "I… I love you Paige. Please don't leave me."

"I won't, I promise I won't leave you Austin. I will do my best to help you. I'll visit you every day that I can. Withdrawal is going to suck like hell, but I know you'll push through it. I love you too." She replied.

Austin moved over as much as he could so that she was able to lie down next to him, Paige moved herself so that she was cuddling into his side. She started to say sorry over and over before she was shushed by Austin's voice, telling her not to worry about it. That she was here now. He slowly started to sing in a small voice to her, rubbing in soothing movement against her arm. Sleep was starting to catch up to her and her eyes closed. As she fell asleep to his voice, a small smile spread across her lips. Half an hour went by before Austin's parents walked into his room. When they noticed Paige on his bed their jaws dropped a bit.

"Austin? What's she doing here?" His mother asked

"She thought I was dead and now just found out I wasn't." Austin replied in a quiet voice

"We know she did. It was her mother's idea." Mike said not looking at his son.

"You knew? You knew why she wasn't visiting me and didn't tell me? You helped keep her away from me?" He spoke, his voice rising slightly as anger started to spill its way into his voice.

"Yes. She's a bad influence on you."

"No, she's not. I chose the drugs. I was taking them before I meet her. Before I even knew about her, so don't you dare blame her for my decisions  **ever**." He ran his hand through her hair.

"She got you smoking, ditching school. Don't think we didn't notice we are just glad she hasn't gotten you into harming yourself like she has, or doing anything sexual."

A cold laugh left his lips. "Screw you. She never forced me to ditch school; in fact,  **I**  got her to ditch, first day of school. She has never forced me to do anything I didn't want too. Including sex, she was willing to stop if I was uncomfortable. She knows boundaries."

"You had sex with her?!" His mother exclaimed, slightly horrified.

"Yeah, I did. But don't worry; she's the first one I've had sex with if that makes it any better for you. Done sexual acts for, that's a different story." Austin spoke with a small smirk. He hated how his parents were reacting to everything, especially to her. "When I didn't have enough money for the oxy, I had to do something."

He could see the look in his mother's eyes, it was like she didn't know what to do or say. He could see disappointment in both of their eyes. He was getting familiar to it; that look in them when they look at him. It was the one they had when he woke up in the room, though last time it was mixed with sadness instead of shock. After a few minutes passed before Paige's mother came in to tell him that he was being released into rehab, she did all that without looking at him. She was about to leave the room, when she spoke "And Austin, I pray to god that this is the last time that I ever see your face. Do not ever contact my daughter, I will not allow her to go through having a drug addict boyfriend. She thinks you are dead, and I wish you were so I don't lie to her about it. So, do me and my family a favour and don't  **ever**  speak to us again. And I'm including Dez in this; I will get a restraining order on you for my whole family."

"You married into the Wade's. They can make their own choices, just like your daughter can. So you can kindly go fuck yourself. Or you know, that male nurse that you've been fucking and hiding from your kids." Austin retorted, pulling the blanket to try and cover Paige up. Dr Wade did nothing but clench her fist and walk out. When she left Austin pulled the blanket away. He could she Paige's shoulders' shaking a bit, and he kissed the top of her head. "You're going to be okay. I know you are."

Paige shook her heads. "How? Your parent's hate me, my mother hates you. I have to go home to my mother, I don't want to go back home to her there."

"Go somewhere else then. Just, be safe whatever you do. I need to go. Jimmy had come by; he said that, if I stay sober for a year he will get me back on."

"That's good. You going to stay sober?"

"I will try my hardest too. As long as you try too."

"Of course Austin. I've been trying for you, but, I relapsed and cut again. Because I thought you were dead. I couldn't deal with it. Now I have to pretend you are to my mother, otherwise… she will make sure we can never see each other again. I don't want that Austin, I love you. I love you too much."

"I love you too. I always thought about getting sober before this, but I just, I…"

"You couldn't feel like you wanted too without them. You relied on them."

"I also relied on you. You made me happy when I felt down, even if you never knew it. You did."

"Austin. Enough with this love fest, go get changed and we are leaving." Austin's father spoke throwing a pair of pants and shirt at him before leaving the room with Mrs Moon.

Paige soon climbed off the bed, allowing Austin to get off as well. She turned around to let him get changed without her looking, when he was done, he wrapped his arms around her waist. Kissing the top of her head, he then rests his chin in between her shoulder and neck.

"Please don't give up on me." He whispered.

"I won't. I could never." She replied, resting her hands on top of his.

* * *

When Paige got home from the hospital she packed up all her things and put them in her car. She had given Ally a warning text that she was coming over and planned to stay for a while. Paige let out a small sigh of relief when Ally welcomed her in with welcoming arms; she only ever unpacked a few of her clothes. Everything else stayed in her car, including all of her boxes of her father's things. She had to wait at least a week before she was able to go see Austin at the centre. There was a process; detox for three days in a room while they experienced withdrawal, then therapist and sessions. She hopes that he will make it, and do well with it. She wants to see him come out of it strong. A week since Austin's been in rehab and Paige was on her way to go visit him like she promised. She said she'd wait a week and that's what she did. She hasn't spoken a word to her mother since that day; she has spoken to Jake though.

Arriving at the rehab centre Paige placed her keys in the pockets of her hoodie. She walked up to the reception, asking for him before sitting down to wait and see if he wanted to see her. It was a few minutes before a worker there came and tapped her on her shoulder. Looking up she smiled, she could just see Austin behind her.

"He's there and when you are ready to leave, tell us so that we know." The worker said and Paige gave a small nod and walked towards Austin. When she got close enough Austin engulfed her into a tight hug and she returned it.

"How's it going?" Paige asked as they pulled apart, Austin grabbing hold of her hand to hold it and walk around the place.

"It's sucks. My arms still hurt from the scratching I did as I went through withdrawal. But, I'm making it through, one day at a time." He replied and Paige lifted up his sleeve, wincing a little at the scratches upon his arm. She would hate to think what the rest of his body looked like from the scratching. "I know, it looks bad, but I'm getting better. Slowly. What about you?"

"I've been doing okay. I haven't spoken a word to my mother since that day. I'm staying at Ally's for the moment. I'm thinking of getting an apartment… and if you want, I can let you live with me when you get out of here."

Austin's jaw dropped a bit, "You would? We could move in together?"

Paige nodded her head. "Yep. Only if you want too though, I'm currently looking for part time jobs, but if it comes to it, I will drop out of school to pay for one."

"Don't drop out; I'll pay for half the bills, because yes I will move in with you when I get out. No more nagging parents to deal with that way." He spoke, lifting her hand up so that he could kiss the back of her hand. Looking down her sleeve as it rose down. "You're getting clean."

"I am. We're in this together, even if we can't do it side by side the way we want too."

"As long as we are getting through it, we'll be okay in the long run." Austin commented, sitting down and pulling her into his lap. She kissed his cheek before nuzzling into his neck. Listening as he started to sing under his breath.

"I can't wait for you to be signed on again. Other people will get to hear your voice again and see you perform again."

"Me either. You're gonna come and visit me when possible right?"

"Yes I am. I can wait to move into an apartment, we could find one together."

"I would love that."

"Good." She grinned, letting out a small content sigh. She was loving theses feelings; the feeling of just being okay, of being happy. The feeling of knowing things are going to be okay, the feeling of being loved for who she is.

Days went by, she went to school during the day, after school she would go see Austin, sometimes with Trish, Dez or Ally, or sometimes alone. When she didn't it was for a job interview, and when she finally did land a nice job as a waitress at one of the local restaurants she went to tell Austin very excitedly. It meant that they were one step closer. The day came when Austin needed to do a group therapy with his family and friends. On that day, she, Trish, Dez and Ally took it off. Paige drove them all to the place, and waited for a worker to lead them to where they needed. When they walked in, Austin was at the back of the room next to one of the therapist while his parents sat next to each other. Ally walked in first, sitting next to his parents while Paige, Dez and Trish took seats on the opposite couch.

The therapist said stuff about how Austin wanted us as they are who he called family, and how he needed to talk to us. Austin was playing with his hands and Paige was doing her best to not put her hand over his, and she was sure Austin could tell that she was itching to do it because he flashed a quick smile towards her. Now it was his turn to speak.

"I know that this is not something either of us planned for. And I know I should say sorry, but it's hard because I know it's not going to be enough. I've hurt everyone in a way, different to each. Ally, I used you as an excuse for my addiction, just so the media wouldn't find out about it. I should have told you, but I didn't want to be stopped. Mum, Dad. I hurt you, I know I did. It must have hurt you seeing me the way you did. Trish and Dez, I know it must suck, especially with you Dez. It doesn't mean we weren't ever close. We were. I was just a great liar. And Paige, I am really sorry. You told me the story, and the next morning I still did them. I stole from your mother and almost got you into trouble for it. I did so much shit, and hurt you all. Drugs can make you do stupid things, and I thought I could be and exception but there is never any exceptions. I really do hope that you guys will be able to forgive me. And I am, well and truly sorry."

* * *

After the group session, Austin was only a week away from being let out rehab. But Paige hasn't seen him since. School was crushing down on her and so was her job. Her teachers said if she ditches anymore days she wouldn't graduate and her boss is making her work straight after school until she is too tired to even go visit Austin. She feels bad about it and she hopes that one of her friends have told him about what's been going on when they visit him. She really hopes that he doesn't feel like she's left him, because thinking of that; Of the look that would fill his face when she does go see him and he is thinking that makes her want to race over there. But her energy is completely drained and she falls asleep quickly. Tomorrow he was leaving and she wanted to go see him, but her teachers kept her in after school so they could make sure she was doing her work. When they were satisfied she left, she was ready to go see him when work called her. And she couldn't say no. By the time night fell she was tuckered out, and soon as her head hit the pillow she fell asleep. Not hearing Ally's calls about dinner being ready. That's when the nightmare started, as she slept her breathing got heavy.

_She was in a room, next her was this small child. A little girl in an oversized Austin Moon shirt, her hair was red like Paige's but her eyes, they looked like Austin's. But on the other side of her, there was a pile of pills. She didn't know what was going on, and soon a voice, her mother's voice boomed over:_ _**Don't worry Paige sweetie, I'm doing this to show you. This is the truth, and you know it is. It will always be this way.** _

_Before she was able to ask what she meant a door opened and Austin was pushed through the door. He looked confused as he looked at the girl then at Paige; he was hesitant to look away from the pills._

**_Choose, Austin, Choose. You can only pick one. Which one do you love more?_ ** _Her mother's voice boomed again._

**_Paige, Your child or the drugs, the oxy._** _That one wasn't her mother's voice that was her father's. Paige tried her best to try and not cry. Looking up at Austin she could see the struggle in his eyes as he looked between them all. She noticed his leg starting to shake._ Oh no _she thought, he wasn't going to pick her. Then he started to slowly scratch his arm, he was trying to be subtle about it, but she saw. Paige shook her head slightly._

**_PICK ONE NOW!_ ** _Her parents' voice yelled together. Making Austin jump, she could barely hear the sorry that fell from his lips as he walked over to the pills. Then, the little girl disappeared and so did the drugs, but not before two bullet's entered Austin's chest and back. A scream left her lips. Looking behind him she saw her mother with a gun held up, and in front of Austin was her father, with a gun in his hands too. Austin looked down at the wounds as blood started to pour out, his knees gave way and he collapsed to the ground. Paige ran to him, even though it was a short distance it felt like forever._

_"_ _Austin," She spoke, her voice breaking as tears filled her eyes. Her hand brushing his hair back behind his head, using her thumb she wiped at the blood trickling out of the corner of his lips. "Please don't go. Stay with me, stay with me."_

_"_ _I told you he was no good, now be a good little girl and come back home and let him die. He will never love you more than he does oxy."_

_Paige ignored her, resting her forehead against his. "Please." She whimpered, giving him small kiss. "Please, don't leave me. We were getting clean. We were clean."_

_She just closed her eyes for a few seconds and when she opened them again, his body was gone and she in this room. Blank walls, no windows, looking down she saw that her arms were bandaged. Frustrated she ripped at them; undoing them, as she did she fell to the floor. Her arms, they had great big gashes in them and they started to pour out blood.  
_

She woke up in a sweat, wiping at her eyes she got out of the makeshift bed. Using her phone as a light, she grabbed a jersey and her keys, making sure Ally hadn't woken up before she left. She hadn't bothered to check what the time was; all she knew was that she needed to see Austin. Driving as fast as she could, she parked, locking her car she walked up to the doors, a small sigh of relief leaving her lips as they opened. She could see a faint light coming from a door inside and went towards it. Knocking on the door, some guy answered it. Standing there, he looked down at her; he was about, maybe six inches taller than her.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" He asked, clearly thinking she was one of the 'patients' at the centre.

She gave a small shake of her head. "I…I need to see Austin. Austin Moon. Can I please?" She questioned, looking down, trying to not let another set of tears form. At least not in front of a stranger, that wouldn't look great.

"May I ask who you are?"

"I'm Paige. I'm his girlfriend."

"You do realise what time it is? It's one in the morning." He countered.

"I know it's late or early, but please. I need to see him. Please. You can just tell me where I can find him." She pleaded; she would have gone straight to his room if she knew where it was. But she didn't because they were always outside or somewhere where others where when she visited. It seemed that no visitors were allowed in their rooms.

"I'll see what I can do." He said before closing the door, making her wait outside. Minutes passed before he came back out. "Room 20, go right, then a left. It's on your right."

She mumbled a small thank you as he shut the door again and followed his directions. Finding the room, she quietly opened the door. Seeing two beds she cringed, but a small sigh of relief left her when she saw only one being used. Walking up to him, she shook his shoulder slightly.

"Austin. Psst. Austin, wake up please. Even just a little a bit." She murmured, watching as he stirred a bit.

"Paige?" Came his tired voice, he started to sit up. But didn't get far before he was engulfed by a tight hug from Paige, he could tell that something had upset her by the way she was hugging him. "I'm here. Come here." He murmured, pulling her on to the bed before lifting the blankets so that it covered them both.

"I… Nightmare, it was bad. Not like the others. It… It was you." The redhead murmured into his chest as he rubbed at her arms in a soothing motion.

"It's okay. Take your time." He replied, pressing a small kiss to her head.

"There was… I was in a room. There was a little girl, I think she was ours. She was next to me, not close, just… you know. But… there were drugs, on a desk on the other side of me. T-Then my mother, she spoke before you came in. She… She made you choose. She had said 'Pick one; Paige, your child or the Drugs." A sob left her lips, before she took in a deep breath, letting it out she continued "It took a while, you were showing withdrawal symptoms and I figured out what you'd pick. But … as you were going towards the pills … My parents shot you. They shot you. My mother shot you in the back, my father in the front." She said, pressing a finger to where she saw it go through. "I was so shocked… I… Everything disappeared and I was in a room… I think I was there because I tried to kill myself. Then, blood, lots of it. I woke up and came straight to you. I… I needed to know you weren't dead. I just… I would have been okay with you picking the little girl over me. With the drugs … I would have tried to help you. But you got shot."

"Shhh, Shhh. It's okay, I'm here, and I'm breathing." Austin murmured "Go back to sleep, I'll be right here."

* * *

She fell asleep, her head on his chest. Listening to his heartbeat, hearing it put her at a somewhat ease. When she woke up, Austin was packing up his things, almost making Paige panic at not seeing him next to her. Sitting up she put her head in her hands as he packed. They talked a bit, just little small talk. Catching up on the past week since they last saw each other. Austin had told her of his plan; that he was going to go home, to his parents until they found an apartment for the pair of them. Paige agreed she knew that it would be best to do it that way. When Austin finished packing, he grabbed hold of Paige's hand and they headed out the door. He signed out quickly before walking with Paige to her car. She helped him put his things in, just putting them on top of the boxes. She drove him to his place, letting him go in by himself, telling him to meet her at lunch to start looking for apartments.

Lunch time came by and she was waiting in the Music Factory for Austin to arrive, when he did she could see a bit of worry upon his face. A frown replaced the smile that was upon Paige's lips.

"Austin? Is something wrong?" She asked as he got close to her. Her eyes following his hand as it reached into his pocket, he took another step closer. As he did, he took hold of her hand and turned it palm up. Paige was confused, but when he took his hand out of his pocket and placed what was in it in her hand, she started to understand. It was a bag of oxy. Enclosing the pills in her fist, she nodded.

"They hadn't been in my room. These were sitting in my desk. I only looked to see if they got rid of it. I promise you."He spoke with a small voice.

"I believe you. I do, because you came to me with these. You didn't hide them. I'll go flush them, come on." She replied, giving him a reassuring smile taking his hand and leading him up to the bathroom. She emptied the packet into the toilet before flushing it. "Gone." She murmured and placed a quick kiss upon his lips then going to give her hands a wash. Once she was done, she led him downstairs so that they could go looking for apartments around the area. The first apartments they looked into where very small and seemed too crowded for them but it wasn't long until they did find the right one. And it was at a good price for the both of them; they were able to start moving in tomorrow. The place was small, but not too small. They could fit in a couch in the living area, plus a small table and a TV. The bathroom was small, but it would do them, same with the kitchen and the bedroom.

Now, they were sitting her car, eating some McDonalds' for dinner. Listening to the radio and making small chat. When Austin mused "Would you marry me?"

Hearing that made Paige tilt her head a bit, was he asking her? "Marry you?" She repeated back to him.

"Like, not now. We're both eighteen, but like, later. Would you?" He answered her

"If we were still together, I would. I would hope we are still together, I really do like you, a lot." She replied with a smile, leaning in to give him a kiss on the lips.

"I would like to hope so too." He popped a fry into his mouth before asking "You said, in your dream there was a kid. That you said you thought it was ours."

Paige nodded "Yeah, I did. She had your eyes, but had my hair."

"One day, I would hope that can happen. One day. Not soon, we both need to be clean for a good while. Be better for it."

"Yeah, me too." She agreed, flashing him a quick grin as she finished off her food. She was to drop Austin off at his place. He was going to pack his things ready to move tomorrow, and he was going to tell his parents that he was moving out. He never got the chance too when they visited him, nor did he want too. At least, not until he knew it was happening and now it was.

After he was dropped off, Paige went back to Ally's to tell her of what was happening. Making her say that they should party a little, and by that party meant a binge watch of  _Gravity Falls_  and some popcorn and lollies until they fell asleep. They woke up when Ally's alarm went off. They got ready for the day, Paige putting all the clothes she took out into a bag and heading to her car. They had breakfast quickly before both heading to the mall, Ally had work and Paige was going to help out with some of the Dance students until Austin came by. Ally was upstairs with one of her piano students, Molly, while Paige was with, Adam, a dancer. They were going through a routine to the song ' _Fall Away'_  by Twenty One Pilots. She was dancing behind him, allowing him to take the front. She smiled as she watched him, ginning even more when she noticed Austin watching them. When the song finished, she applauded him and gave him a hug, telling him that she would still be coming by to see his progress. He gave a small nod and went to go find his mother. Paige walked up to Austin and sat next to him.

"I have my things in my car, and I know you do too." He said resting his head on her shoulder, making her frown just a little.

Reaching her hand up to run her hand through his hair, she asked "What's up?"

"Just… I told my parents, they didn't take it well. They think I'm going to go back to drugs if I move out. They actually said that is why they want me to stay with them, so they can monitor me, watch me." He spoke with a depleted sigh. "It's like they don't trust me anymore."

"Then they don't deserve you. They should trust you. And it's too late for them to stop you, to stop us. We just now need to bring everything in, and then buy a few more things including a bed."

Austin nodded his head lightly. "Yeah, can we just sit here for a bit?"

"Yeah." She replied, she understood how he was feeling and the place could wait a while. They sat there for a few minutes, not speaking. If he wanted to talk, she would let him talk first. When Austin stood up, she followed and took hold of his hand as they walked out of the Music Factory. They each took their own cars to the apartment, which was a block away from the Mall. Unpacking they started with Paige's things, taking a few boxes up at a time. Every box was placed in the corner of the living area, when they finished they laid down on the floor.

"My parents aren't home right now; maybe we can take some of my bigger things from there. Like my desk and computer." Austin spoke as he held onto her hand.

Paige gave a small nod. "Yeah, we can get my TV. Mum usually has a full shift on the weekends. So we won't bump into her."

"Okay, sounds like a plan. We should get to it then." Austin said before he stood up and held out his hand to help her up. They decided to take her car as they went to her old house first. Jake had answered the door and a sigh of relief fell from the redhead's lips as she went to her room, unplugging the TV and gathering the chords needed. She gave her brother a quick hug before she left, Austin driving as they went to his parent's home. Arriving, the former star made a quick trip into the garage to use get a few tools so that they could take apart the desk. Paige made her way up to his room, removing things and placing them on his bed. Picking up the laptop she was about to go and take it down when she saw Austin wide eyes coming up the stairs.

"My parents are home. They're supposed to be at work." He said as he walked towards her, making her walk backwards into his room. When they got in, he shut the door behind him and slid down the door. "Oh god, oh fuck. What if they see you? And call your mother? I… I don't want a restraining order, not against you." The blond started to panic

Putting the laptop down, she walked over to him, standing in front of him. "Austin." She spoke with a firm voice to get his attention on her. "I won't let them do that. Okay. Look me in the eyes." She waited for him to look into green-grey eyes. When he did, she took hold of his hands, lowering the pair to the ground. "They can't separate us. We are both eighteen, we have moved out. They have no legal hold over us now. We can just sit here and wait, or we can just go through the house and ignore them. It's your choice. Do you want to face them?"

He shook his head "I don't, but your car. They'll see it. I need too."

"Okay, we can dismantle the desk, and then go downstairs. Give you some more time." Paige said before she leant in to give him a quick kiss, grabbing the tools from his hand and walking to the desk. She dismantled the desk as Austin sat down, she didn't mind it. He needed to work things out and she wouldn't force him to help if he was needed a little bit of space. Once it was done, Paige placed all the screws in a bag, placing it in a pocket before grabbing hold of Austin's bag and putting his laptop in it. She picked up the smaller pieces of the desk, giving Austin a small smile as he stood up, opening the door before grabbing the bigger piece.

* * *

Going down the stairs, Paige went first and waited at the bottom as Austin came down hulling the bit of wood. As they were going through the lounge, a coughing noise could be heard. The pair both let out a sigh, lowering the items to the ground before looking towards his parents who were standing beside them now.

"Austin, what are you doing?" His mother questioned

"I'm taking my desk. It's mine, same with my computer."

"No, you are not young man." Spoke his father, crossing his arms against his chest.

"I am. You can keep the TV and bed and whatever else is in my room. I have everything else I need."

"You are not leaving this house." Mike spoke, looking his son dead in the eye.

"I am. I am eighteen, I can move out. I have a source of income, and I already have place."

"Austin Monica Moon, you will not leave this house, just so you can go ahead and do drugs again." His mother fumed, stomping her foot on the ground.

A scoff came from Paige's mouth, earning her glares from the Moon's. "Really? You seriously don't trust your son anymore? Because of a disease he had, that he has." The redhead questioned with disbelief, how could they. "He is clean, he's honest. And what they fuck do you know. He could still be here and go back on them, hell you made it easy. Not because of how you are acting, but because you left the drugs in his room. Where did you think he would have stored them? Did you guys ever bother to go into his room and search for them? Or did you just leave it unattended because you were ashamed? He came to me with them and I flushed them. The chances of him getting high again are slim."

"Paige, stop. Let's just go." Austin mumbled picking up his part of the desk, waiting for Paige to do the same before heading out, ignore his parents gaping jaws. They placed the desk parts in the boot of the car before Austin drove them back to their apartment. Paige was still fuming, but she was letting it slid as she and Austin drove in silence. None of them spoke as they brought everything into their apartment, not even when they pumped up the airbed that they were going to use until they got themselves a proper bed. Deciding to lay down on the bed, Austin cuddled into her chest. A small sigh left him as his arms wrapped around her waist, while Paige's arms went around him, just like his did when she felt like this. It was almost protective, like they knew what they other was going through in their head and the hold and soft brushes of their hand through the other's hair was just to let them know that they're there for them. Forever and always, that they aren't going anywhere anytime soon.

Days passed by; going to school, going to work then coming home to each other. Slowly they got everything they needed in their place. Pots and pans, plates and bowls. All the cutlery and furniture were brought. Prom came by and went, Austin went with Paige, Dez with Carrie while Trish and Ally rode solo. But they all went together; spending the night together and partying like everyone else around them. Everyone was amazed that Ally won Prom Queen again, Austin didn't win King again. Rumours started flying around the school about why he wasn't at school for almost a month. At times it would get to him, leaving him drained and upset, curling into Paige's chest as he fell asleep when he got home. The same would happen around the other way, when Paige was having one of her days again. Working in the mall did cause the pair to bump into his parents a lot. At first it was just looking at him and looking away, until when they did talk to him. Things slowly started to become better, and Paige trusted them a little. Knowing that they hadn't told her mother that they were together still that allowed her to start to forgive them for what they did, or lack thereof. And she is sure that the reason they are starting to forgive her for what she said is because Austin is clean and they know that she is helping, even if it's what they want to do themselves. As a year came by since their getting clean pack, Jimmy made Austin take a drug test before allowing him to sign on again. Paige couldn't forget the smile that spread across his face when he came home with the good news. They celebrated it with a night out with a trip to the movies and to a nice dinner.

* * *

Two years. That's how long they had been together now. Austin was performing, even after the media started to hound him when he came clean about why he was dropped. The media started making up stories, causing Austin to have a few meltdowns, but Paige was there for him. Even told him to write out how he was feeling into a book. That it could be used for a new song. It did make a good song, and Paige loved it. Paige started a youtube channel with for her dancing and started to gain a few fans, especially after she 'officially' confirmed that yes, she was dating Austin Moon. She ignored the hate she got, just like Austin was. They were in it together. Tonight, it would have been a two years and a week since they officially started going out, or at least said they would start dating. Austin was going to celebrate it; he took her out to a very nice restaurant before going to the Music Factory studio, where Paige films her videos. Paige had been feeling a bit off for the past few days, but she was pushing past it. And it generally went away by the time lunch passed. Music was playing as they walked in and Paige could see one of Dez's cameras sitting in the middle of the room.  _Why was Austin filming this_? Paige thought to herself but shrugged it off. She would probably find out soon. Austin took her hand, asking her to dance to which she nodded with a smile. He took the lead but halfway through Paige pulled away, not feeling so good.

"Are you okay?" Austin asked, concern filling his voice as he saw her sway a bit.

"I…I think... wait no." She murmured before falling forward into his arms. Austin caught her, alarm started blaring through him. Picking her up he brought her to his car, putting her in the back of his car and driving as fast as he could to the hospital. As he brought in, he saw her mother and she clearly saw him. When her eyes fell to her daughter in his arms she ran towards him, calling for a gurney.

"What happened?" She demanded in an angry tone.

"She… She fainted, we were dancing and she fainted. She has said she hasn't felt right each morning, but by lunch. It was gone, so I don't know what's happened." Austin spoke, his words rushing out, almost running together

"It's not drugs is it?"

"No! I have not touched any since that day. Nor has she, unless you can't her anti-depressants."

A nurse came in with a bed, and Austin put her on it. Her mother pushed him aside as she rushed her off into a room. The star could hear her demand that I stay here, and that someone was to make sure of it. Worry was settling into him and he took a seat, pulling out the ring he had in his pocket, he was going to give it to her. He was going to ask her to marry him; he thought enough time had passed. That it would be the right time for it. He twisted and turned the ring in his fingers as he waited for any kind of news about Paige. Seeing her mother come towards him, she didn't seem too happy; then again she never did look happy when he was around. Even when he would pass her by in the streets, she hated him.

"It was food poisoning. And it was bad, she didn't make it. Paige didn't make it."

Austin's jaw dropped, tears started to form in his eyes. "C-Can I see her? Just for the last time" He asked, he wanted to at least give her the ring.

"No, I'm sorry. Please leave."

"But she's my girlfriend. I wanted to marry her."

"You kept her away from me for two years. You can't see her. You are not married to her, so you cannot see her, nor are you invited to her funeral." Her mother spoke, her voice, Austin couldn't place what she was feeling. Austin felt like screaming, like hitting something, but he couldn't. That would cause a scene and he didn't want that, he placed the ring back into his pocket.

"Screw you. I fucking love her, and you are keeping me away from her. Screw you; I hope your latest boyfriend realises how shitty you truly are. I hope Jake realises how shitty a parent you are. I really hope he does, because if you couldn't accept your daughter's happiness, why would you accept his." Austin spoke before leaving to climb in his car. That was when he broke down crying, slamming his hand against the wheel, and letting out a scream. He drove home, not bothering to get changed out of his clothes before he passed out on their bed, crying himself to sleep.


	2. Highs and Lullabies

That day repeated over and over in his mind. The words her mother said, him breaking down in the car feeling the want to relapse but didn't. For her, he wouldn't do it. Good memories played in his mind as well, and some of the bad as well. But none of them could fill the empty feeling he had. He still had the ring; it was always sitting in his wallet. He couldn't bear the thought to sell it. But yesterday he finally gave it way. He was at a meet and greet, a signing one and a woman came up with her kid. The blonde woman remind him of Paige, especially when he saw the scars on her arm. She never meets his eyes, but he ran his hand over her arm before he pulled out the ring and gave it to her. He gave it to her saying ' _This ring was going to go to someone important to me, but… I can't give it to her. But, you remind me of her, from the little you've spoken. I want you to have this… take it and make a promise, if not for me, for your daughter._ ' His eyes looked down at the little redhead at her side. ' _Keep clean, as best you can. I know it can be hard. She did this too, and I want to know you would be safe_.' Austin gave her a small smile before letting her go on her way. After that he just couldn't get Paige out of his mind, no matter how hard he tried.

"Austin, are you going through Paige's things again." Justin's voice rang through the blonds' ears as he entered the room, sitting down next to the star.

"I… I… Yeah. That girl from yesterday, she reminded me so much of her. So I can't get her out of my head. I'm sorry." Austin replied, looking down at the hoodie in his hands. It was Paige's, well it was his, but she always borrowed it which made it hers in his mind. "I gave the girl the ring. You know that, I don't know why I did."

"Maybe you are finally letting go. Which is good because it is a bit unhealthy how you've been wrapped up on her." Justin spoke, turning Austin's head to face him before pressing a small kiss to his lips. "Now, come on. You've got a gig to get too."

"Have you got it ready?"

"Yes, get your arm ready and we can do it before you go. Don't want to keep Ally and her fans waiting." Justin said as he stood up, waiting for Austin to as well. Austin stood up, dropping the hoodie in the box. Grabbing a belt he went and sat down on the bed. That he and Justin now shared. They never did much in bed, just sleep more times than others. He wrapped the belt around his upper arm, pulling it in tight as Justin brought over the needle. "Ready?"

Austin closed his eyes, giving Justin a small nod. He could feel Justin's hand wrap around his arm as he started to inject the oxycotion into his system. As he started to feel the dulling feeling, the high starting, his head rolled a bit in ecstasy. He stayed seated for a few seconds, letting the drug make its way through him before he stood up and grabbing a jacket. On his way to the car, he grabbed his keys and gave Justin a kiss on the cheek. Ally didn't like Justin so he wasn't allowed at rehearsals or any of her shows, even the ones Austin was in. Tonight was kicking off Ally's world tour; Austin was an opening act for her, on the Miami concert only, same with the Masked Dancer.

The Masked Dancer was a youtuber dancer, who has appeared on things like  _Dancing with the Stars_ as a special dancer. No one knows who she really is. Everyone suspects the name Eliza is a stage name, which she had confirmed in an interview but she wouldn't divulge her real name. Austin and Ally are fans of hers; Austin even took one of her videos to teach to a group of students at the Music Factory. So knowing that they had got her on was amazing to them.

When Austin arrived to the arena, he was running a little late meaning he only had time to mic up and giving a quick apology to Ally who was waiting at the corner of the stage for him to go on.

"Austin, after your set I need to talk to you." She spoke in a serious tone, looking him dead in the eyes.

Austin gave her a small nod. "Okay. So the Masked Dancer is on after me?"

"Yeah, now hurry on." Ally said, motioning her arms for him to hurry onto the stage.

To say that Austin was a little scared about what she wanted to talk to him about would be a lie. He hopes she hasn't figured out that he's using again. He couldn't deal with that. He shook the thought out of his mind as he went up onto the stage. Smiling as the crowd cheered.

"How are you Miami?" He asked walking into the middle of the stage. The crowd cheered again. "Wow, nice. Right, there is a slight song change I'm doing in this. I was originally gonna sing my new single  _'_ _Roll Call'_  but instead, I'm going to do a cover and tell you guys a story. I know, that isn't what I should be doing, but I need to get it off my chest. And maybe, I can get in the song Roll Call. Okay, five years ago, I was ready to get married, well engaged. I had the ring ready to give to her, I had this whole night planned out but something went wrong." Austin closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath and letting it out before continuing. He heard the gasp going around; someone had called out ' _Paige?_ ' "She fainted and I took her to the hospital, where her mother worked. Her mother hated me, no lying about that. She hated me because I was an addict; she never forgave me for it even though I got clean. Her mother took her and made me wait outside. I played with the ring, thinking: maybe I should have asked at the restaurant. Asked her to marry me, but when her mother next came out. It wasn't good. She told me that food poisoning got to her and that they weren't able to save her. I wanted to see her, but her mother banned me from it, even so where I couldn't go to her funeral. It sucked, knowing I couldn't see her one last time. I wanted to give her the ring, just slip it on her finger. Ever since that day though, I've held onto that ring. Never let it out of my sight until yesterday. Where, someone who reminded me of her came to me at the signing. I made her promise to try and not harm herself, not for my sake, but for her daughter's. She had a cute little kid; I'm guessing four or five. If she's here tonight; hey there, I hope you are doing okay. But anyway, the song I'm covering is from a band we both liked. One where I look like one of the members, she loved to poke at me for it, and I loved that because it would make her smile. God I miss her smile so much. The song is  _'_ _Could Have Been Mine'_  by the band R5." As he finished he nodded a little, showing the band he was ready and the music started to play and he started to sing.

" _Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine_

_After all these years of trying, you think I'd have a clue_   
_But all that I've been looking for is you, yeah_   
_And I always had the words to say, but with you I can hardly speak_   
_I missed my tears and you're moving on to someone else, not me_

_And now my memories are haunting me_   
_If I had said what I felt inside…"_

**_Austin was outside his parent's place; taking a few deep breaths he knocked the door. His mother opened the door, she was happy to see her son, but the smile she had immediately turned into a frown as she saw the redness around his eyes._ **

**_"_ ** **_Austin, what's happened? Where's Paige? You go to her don't you?" Mimi questioned_ **

**_"_ ** **_I can't mum. S-She died. She died mum." He replied, his voice shaking. Hearing her son's voice on the verge of crying, she pulled him into the house, into a tight hug._ **

**_"_ ** **_It's going to be okay sweetie. You're going to be okay." She murmured into his hair, bringing him into the lounge where Mike was sitting. He mouthed 'What's wrong' and Mimi mouthed back 'Paige Died'. Mike then sat down next to them._ **

**_"_ ** **_Son, it's going to be okay. You'll find someone else."_ **

**_"_ ** **_I wanted to marry her dad. I don't think I can." Austin mumbled, reaching into his pocket with a little bit of trouble, pulling out ring. "I was going to ask her tonight, but I took too long."_ **

_"…You could have been mine_  
You could have been mine  
You could have been mine  
You could have been, could have been,  
Could have been, should have been mine

 _And I know that I'm not perfect 'cuz I can never read your mind_  
 _You can never call me Superman - I just wish I could turn back time_  
 _Whoa, and you see me hurting and you just watch me burn_  
 _If my life was a movie, then I would get the girl…_ "

**_Days go by and he can't stop remembering everything about her. He's scared that he's going to forget her completely. He wants to numb this feeling, but nothing can. Not like she did. Not like the drugs did. Nothing could. His next album, in the emotional songs, everyone could tell he poured his soul into it. And when he would be asked about it, it was pushed aside. He couldn't talk about her in front of everyone. He didn't want to be caught crying and breaking down again. Days like her birthday are the worst for him. Because all he can think about is her, nothing can take his mind off of her. Nothing and he wants to be dulled of this heartache. But he made a promise, to himself, to her to never do drugs again but he couldn't bring himself to harm himself, or talk about it. He couldn't even bring himself to use sex as an outlet. He would just sit and suffer by himself, watching videos of her that he had. Going through their photos, going through her stuff just to remember her._ **

_"…And now my memories are haunting me_   
_If I had said what I felt inside_   
_You could have been mine_   
_You could have been mine_   
_You could have been mine_   
_You could have been, could have been,_   
_Could have been, should have been mine_   
_You should have been mine_   
_You should have been mine_   
_You should have been, could have been,_   
_Could have been mine_

_And I try to move on from the long-gone_   
_But you keep coming back, coming back_   
_It's just keeps playing back like a rerun_   
_I can't get you out of my head…"_

**_Paige's smile, it lighted up the world to him. Her arms engulfed him when he felt down. The soft words she would say to lift his mood. Watching her dance was magical, he doesn't ever want her to stop. In fact he was going to ask if she wanted to become one of his back up dancers. They way she would dance around the apartment in her underwear, not afraid of her scars anymore. That would make him smile always, knowing she was happy and full of life. The cuddles on the couch when one of them felt down were always great. The movie binges to lift their moods to a better place. The way their body fitted so well together every time they explored them; hands and mouths exploring every inch taking their time in doing so. Not wanting to rush into anything the other didn't want to do. Always learning something about each other, intimate or not. There was always something new for them to discover about each other. Her laugh was one of the best things he could ever hear; he was even tempted to make it his ringtone._ **

" _…If I had said what I felt inside_  
 _You would have been mine_  
 _You would have been mine_  
 _You would have been mine_  
 _You would have been, you could have been,_  
 _should have been mine, mine, mine_  
 _You could have been, could have been, could have been mine_

_Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine."_

As the song ended, the crowd was silent. The emotion he had poured into it had made them go into silence. Like they needed to hear how much he was feeling. Austin's eyes had closed at the end, now opening them; he let out a small breath. "I don't think I can do Roll Call. Maybe next time, I'm figuring out tour plans." Austin spoke before heading off the stage, brushing past Ally who was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. He went into one of the backrooms, he was sure Ally was on his tail. He slumped down against the wall, putting his head in his hands trying to keep his breathing steady.

"Austin? No need to talk, just listen." Ally spoke as she sat down next to him. "That was really brave of you. You haven't spoken of her like that to anyone, and you did it in front of a crowed. That took guts, and I admire that. I do. I wanted to tell you I know who the Masked Dancer is."

* * *

"What?" Austin questioned, lifting his head to look at her. "How? No one knows who she is?"

"I figured it out. You were right, it is her."

His eyes widened at her words "I…I just said she danced so much like her. She danced so much like Paige."

"Austin, just… here. Watch this." She said pulling out her phone; she tapped a bit at it before she showed it to him. It was a video, the music started playing. The song was The Veronicas' song ' _You Ruin Me'_  and as Austin watched, he couldn't believe what he was watching. Those were the exact moves that Paige did to the song. Austin's hand went over his mouth as he watched, but something changed halfway, like the person it was for changed. Oh god, was he the new reason? As the video came to an end, he saw a little girl run into the shot.

"Ally, it is. It's Paige. She once told me that no one dances the same. And … That was exactly like Paige. S-She left me?" Austin said passing Ally her phone back, sinking his head back into hands. "Why did she leave?" He questioned aloud, beginning to cry.

"I don't know Austin, maybe you should ask her. Are you going to be okay? I need to go to the stage ready."

"I…I'll be fine." He murmured. He felt Ally give his knee a supportive squeeze before he heard her heels exiting the room. As she left he broke down crying. All the bad things that ever happened between them running through his head, trying to figure out what it was that made her leave him. Trying to figure out what he did wrong that she couldn't tell him about. He doesn't know how long he sat there crying, but he knows he heard a female calling out to someone which made him try to stop. He tried to calm his breathing down, as he did he felt someone tap his shoulder. Looking up he saw a little girl, wait he's seen her before.

"Hey, didn't I meet you yesterday. What are you doing back here?" Austin asked, sniffling a bit, trying to show a brave face to the little girl.

"Are you okay? You seem sad?" The girl asked, her red hair falling into her brown eyes as she gave it a small tilt. It was almost like Paige did, that made him smile a little.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Where is-" He was interrupted by someone else walking in

"Monica, sweetie what have I said about wondering off?" As she spoke, Austin almost felt like crying again, that was unmistakably Paige's voice.

"Not to wonder off. But mummy, he's upset. I wanted to make him happy." The little girl spoke, pointing towards Austin.

"I told you that you aren't to talk to him without me."

"Why not Paige?" Austin spoke up, finally actually looking towards her. Her once short red hair is now a light shade of blonde that fell past her shoulder blades. He saw as she tensed up, she touched at the mask that covered her face.

"I don't know who you are talking about. I go by Eliza."

"Oh my god, how did I not get it? Paige  _Eliza_  Wade. God, I'm so stupid. The way you danced, I thought it was, but… How could it be?"

"What are you taking about Austin? I don't know you, or who you are talking about." Paige's voice spoke as she bent down to pick up the little girl. Monica, that's what she called her.

"Are you seriously gonna keep playing that card. I know it's you Paige."

"I'm not Paige."

"Doesn't granny call you Paige?" Monica spoke up; playing with her mother's mask, making the woman put her hand over the little girls hand to stop her.

He raised an eyebrow, and then something started to click. "How old is she?"

"She's four." The masked dancer spoke in a quiet voice.

"When… When did she turn four?" He followed up, trying to do some maths in his head.

"Three months ago, around that."

Austin started to do the maths. That means in nine months, she would be five. And… "She's mine?"

"Austin I said I don't know what you're talking about?"

"Monica is mine? Did you pick that name because it's my middle name? I want the truth Paige, please."

Austin was met with silence before she left the room, and he was too exhausted to go after her. She clearly didn't love him anymore, he just wish she would answer his question. Was Monica his? Because if she was, he's missed out on her life and he doesn't like knowing that. He would have wanted to be in her life from the get go. Taking a deep breath in he sent a quick text to Justin, asking if he could pick him up, he had arrived in his own car, but he didn't feel like driving. He didn't trust himself to not drive himself off the road. The star waited for the text that told him that Justin was here before he left the building, not bothering to leave a message to Ally about where he was going. Reaching the parking lot he quickly found his boyfriends car and headed towards it. Climbing in he leant into kiss him, which was meet by the other. A small smile spread across his lips, it was faint but it was there. Austin's hand reached up to cup Justin's face as the kiss started to get more heated. Slowly the blond moved himself onto the other male's lap, grinding his hips against him and that was when Justin pulled away. A light frown forming on his lips as he asked

"Austin? What are you doing?"

"What? I thought you would want this?" He said before going into his kiss him again, bur was rejected.

"But is it what you want?"

"I'm the one allowing it to get more heated."

"But we never get this heated, ever. You always stop us."

Austin huffed and returned to his seat. "Fine then, no fucking for you then. Go find that fucker you've been fucking. I'll just drive home by myself." He retorted opening the door and climbing out, not bothering to wait for him to say anything. Grumbling he went to his car, opening the door he got in and grabbed out the cigarette pack he had in his glove box. He pulled out one and placed it in between his lips, lighting it up he rested his head against the seat. Taking in a drag and letting it out he tried to clear his mind. Turning the key in the ignition he turned on the radio, which started playing the CD in the player. The song was  _'Did You Have Your Fun?'_  by R5, it made him want to scream. It did make him scream out. That was their song, his and Paige's. It described them, well it use too describe. Anger and hurt ran through his body, causing him to eject the CD and throw it out the door which was still open. He watched as it scattered across the ground, taking in another drag of smoke and letting it out through the corner of his lips.

"Fucking hell. I can't do anything right. I'm taking it to dam slow. I'm fucking taking too fast. Fucking hell." He muttered to himself. Maybe he should just break it off with Justin, he is fucking other guys behind his back and Austin knows this. He's caught him in the act once or twice, maybe three times. And the excuse each time was because Austin wasn't giving out anything more then what he had when he first started taking drugs – which was just either hand jobs or blowjobs. But if he broke it off with Justin he would need to find somehow to feed his addiction without using Justin and he didn't want to go through that trouble.

As he finished off the cigarette he saw the backstage door open and Monica skipping out, with Paige right behind her. The mask still covering her face, he watched as Monica made her way to the car on the other side of him, he noticed the older girl stop in her steps when she saw his car. It was the same one he had when they were together so of course she was going to recognise it. But she gave a small shake of her head and continued to the car, unlocking it for her and her daughter. Out of the corner of his eye he watched as she helped the little redhead into her seat. If that little girl was his, he wants to know why Paige skipped out on him to raise her by herself. Did she think he would skip out on her? Ditch her? He just didn't get it, why change her name?

They pulled away and Austin shut his door, starting up the car. He was going home, not caring if Justin was or wasn't going to be there or if he was with some other dude. Getting home he walked up to the apartment; it was unlocked so Justin was home and then came a moan. Yep, he did go find someone to go fuck. Austin was just going to sleep on the couch, he grabbed a blanket from the closet and lay down on the couch to go to sleep, already tired of tonight's events. He wanted to cover his ears as noises from the bedroom echoed into the living room. Sleep eventually over took him, sending him into dreamland which wasn't always his friend.

* * *

Morning rolled around and Austin accidentally rolled off the couch with a thud. Groaning, he pushed himself off of the ground. He could feel that he no longer had his high; he slept it off so he slowly brought himself to the bedroom, glaring a bit at the two sleeping forms in the bed that he and Paige had brought. The star started to rummage through the set of draws to find where Justin kept everything. The hiding place changed a lot, never in the same spot. Finding the needles he grabbed a new one and some of the oxycotion. Stuffing everything into his pockets he walked out of the room, grabbing a belt as he did. Leaving the room he slammed it shut behind him, he rested everything on the coffee table before he sat down. He took off his shirt as he didn't feel like rolling up the sleeve, so he just took off the whole thing. Picking up the belt he wrapped it around his upper arm, tightening it to the way he needed it before picking up the oxy and needle. He's watched Justin do this a lot of times, he could do this and he did. Letting his head roll a bit as he felt the high kick in, taking in a deep breath he slowly pulled the needle out, and setting it on the table. The drug was making its way through his system and he was feeling that warming, high feeling he liked.

"AUSTIN!" Yelled Justin's voice, making the blond look up from where he was to see him at the doorframe. His brown hair all messy and falling in his eyes, which usually made him look cute but Austin couldn't feel anything for him right now.

"What?" He retorted with a small eye roll.

"You're not supposed to get high without me."

"Whatever. But, I think I can, just did. Just go back to bed, to that guy in your bed. Just go fuck him, actually why not just date him. I ain't giving you what you want. I'm not giving you sex, but when I try to, you pull out."

Justin rolled his eyes. "That's not what it's like Austin."

"It isn't? You were fucking him last night, I heard you. And he's the one from all those times before. So, don't give me crap."

"How about you being so strung up on your ex that you can't function without MY drugs."

A small snarl left the blond singer's lips. "Don't talk about her."

"Why not? She left you, she fucking left you! She left and you turned back to me!"

Austin's eyes widened. "Left? I thought she died! And apparently she hasn't. She's still breathing and not with me."

"She never died Austin, she left you. She had to know you would go running back to the drugs, to me. At least  **I**  love you. If I was pregnant with your child I would tell you, not leave you."

Standing up Austin walked over to him, trying to keep the anger that was boiling inside him from spilling. "Y-You knew? I never said when I figured she was still alive that she had a kid. I had a feeling she was mine, hell, the kid's name is Monica. My middle name. Did you plan this? Plan us? Plan with her mother? Plan on getting me back on the drugs? You were the one who got me to do them again in the first place."

Justin took a step back, realising he said some things he should have kept quiet. "I don't know what you're talking about. The oxy is getting to you." He tried to lie.

"It's not. Get out. Now! This is my apartment. I want you out! Get out!" Austin yelled

"What about my things?"

"Collect them later, and I'll go find another away to get the dam drugs. I'll have everything in a box ready for you."

Justin huffed "Fine, be a big baby. But soon you will realise that she was never good for you. Throw your tantrum, I'll come back. You'll want me back, you will."

"No I won't. Just leave already. Only come back to collect your things."

Austin just stood there, watching as he left and when he did he walked into the room. Pulling on the other guy in the bed he pushed him out. Not feeling like being nice to anyone right now. How could this all be happening? How his life could be going to shit, he had no fucking clue. Slamming the door shut he slid down the door, clenching his fist.

* * *

It was ten in the morning when Paige was awoken by a little body jumping up and down on her bed.

"Wake up mummy." Monica said as she bounced on the bed.

"I'm up. What do you want to do today?" The blonde asked as she sat up in her bed, pulling at her daughter who fell in her lap with a light laugh.

"See Derek? Can we go see him?" Monica beamed, reaching to play with her mother's hair. Derek was an approved friend of hers, and by that it means that he has no record of drugs, no jail time. Her mother had done a full check on him before she had allowed them to even go on a first date. Right now they are just friends, but to her mother, they're together. Paige was just trying to make her mother happy and not hate her anymore. Derek understood that Paige didn't want to go on a second date, and he is just happy that they can still be friends. He's seen her mother get very shitty when Monica started to ask about her father, so he is playing for the sake of giving Paige some comfort.

"Maybe later sweetie, okay. He works at night remember, so we will let him get some sleep, yeah."

"Okay mummy." The redhead grinned playing with the blonde hair in her hands. "Can we go visit Uncle Jake then?"

Paige sucked in a breath before letting it out, a weak smile on her lips. "Yeah we can. Go get dressed, we'll walk there."

"Yay!" She said, throwing her arms in the air before climbing off the bed and rushing to her room, leaving Paige to collect her thoughts.

Paige quickly got changed into a pair of clean jeans and a tank top. She picked up her keys, twirling them around her fingers, she pulled on a jacket before waiting for Monica to come out and say she was ready. When she did, Paige smiled; she noticed a piece of paper in her hand. It was probably a drawing she did and wanted to show Jake. The pair headed out, the older locking the door behind her before taking her daughter's hand and heading down the street. As they walked Monica told her mother of the dream she had last night. It apparently was full of unicorns and dancing. They took right into the cemetery; Paige could feel Monica give her hand a small squeeze and that made a very faint smile spread across her face. She started hum lightly as they made their way to where they wanted to go, Monica let go of her mother's hand and walked up to the gravestone that read  _'Jake Micheal Wade. Loving son, uncle and brother, we will miss you. 1999 - 2019._

"Look Uncle. It's us. There is mummy, you, grandma and Derek and me. I'm in the middle." Monica said as she placed the picture on the ground, pointing to each one of the drawings as she named them.

Paige just watched as her daughter talked to the gravestone, talking about what's been going on in the past few days. She eventually sat down next to her daughter, listening to her chat away.

"Mummy, your turn now." The redhead spoke, poking her mother's side slightly.

"It is? Okay. Jake, a lot has happened since we last came here. I bumped into Austin, god was that hard. It was twice actually. One because Monica wanted to see him and he was doing a signing, the other, it didn't go down to well. He acted as though I left him, that he didn't even know I was having Monica." Paige took in a deep breath and let it out. "But he left me, alone and scared at the hospital. How could he be acting like I did something wrong? He did a cover of 'Could Have Been Mine' but what he said before it, I… He said I went away. He told them all I died; he said he wanted to marry me. Me, marry me? He's building up a sob story." But that didn't explain to her why she found him, well Monica found him the backroom crying. Why would he be crying if it was all fake? It didn't make much sense to her. "I miss you Jake. Every day. I'm sorry you had to go."

She took in another deep breath before standing up, taking hold of Monica's hand, picking up the drawing before starting to exit the cemetery. It has been three years since her brother died, it was due to suicide. He purposely killed himself and Paige is sure the reasons he wrote down weren't all of them. She knew her mother played a part in him not feeling good enough. The pair were so tight before their dad died, after that it started to get drained, she knew it was even though Jake wouldn't admit it. And when her mother decided to take over her life, it was lost completely. Jake didn't get much of their mother's time, especially when he actually got himself a boyfriend. Maria completely shut him out, unless he was invited by Paige and Monica. She hated not knowing that her brother was spiralling down that far and that quickly and she wishes she could have done better, been a better sister and be there for him like she had for her. But she failed and she knows that, despite that he wrote that she didn't fail him.

Paige snapped out of her little daze when Monica squealed, stopping in her tracks. It was high pitched and made her jump slightly. As she focused on what was around her, she saw Justin walking out of an apartment building, wait… that was the one she and Austin lived in. And behind him was another guy who was just in his underwear, clearly the source for Monica's squeals. Paige's grey-green eyes found the ground as she went to pick up her daughter but she wouldn't budge, instead her eyes fixed onto something up higher.

"Come on Monica, we need to go home. We need something to eat." Paige spoke in a soft voice, trying to encourage her to walk if she didn't want to be carried.

But the redhead just pointed. Deciding to follow her daughter's gaze she saw things being thrown out a window.

"You know what Justin, screw ever coming back. Here are your things!" That was Austin's voice yelling and she could hear Justin mutter  _'Stupid asshole. Throwing a tantrum over a dumb girl, the bitch should have died._ ' She looked over to him and saw the other guy wrap his arm around Justin's waist.

* * *

Paige was fighting the urge to go up and talk to him, and sadly instinct took over her better judgement. She walked up the stairs to the apartment, Monica tailing her. She pulled out her keys, she still had the key from those years ago but for all she knew the lock could have been changed. Making her way to Austin's apartment door, she knocked on the door, telling Monica to stay behind her. They waited a while before Austin did open up the door; he leaded against the door frame, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath.

"I don't have time for a dam fucking lecture –" He stopped what he was saying when he opened his eyes, the look in his eyes were shock. "What are you doing here? Thought you didn't know me."

His retort was cold, making Paige flinch a bit. "I just came up because you seemed very upset as you were chucking things out the dam window."

"I'm fine, not that you care."

"No you're not. You're not fine, plus how could you let a drug dealer into the apartment?"

A mechanical laugh left Austin's lips. "He was my boyfriend. And why do you care who  _I_  let into _my_ apartment. "

Paige rolled her eyes, she could see through it. He was fighting the urge to breakdown; she's seen it too many times to ever forget the look. The sadness and loneliness hiding in his brown eyes as he put on a smile for her; or in this case a scowl, there was no smile this time. She wanted to hug him, bring him to the bed or couch and run her hand through his hair until he felt better. But she couldn't, she was part of the reason he was like this, if anything about last night was to go from.

"Can I come in? Monica is hungry and we have to wait until we get home." Paige asked, maybe that will let him put down his guard.

"Sure. I was going to make some breakfast soon anyway." He mumbled, standing aside, allowing the girls to walk in, Monica holding onto her mother's long skirt tightly.

"Mummy, I want pancakes." She spoke in a quiet voice

"Um, do you have the ingredients? I'll clean up after I'm done." The blonde asked the male, of course he would, but she wanted to just ask.

"I do. In the kitchen, top cupboard. Bottom is where you'll find the pan." He said, walking towards the kitchen. The girls following behind, Paige was slightly relieved that not much had changed around here. There of course where a few things missing. Like her things, she wanders what he did with it all? Did he sell it? Did he box it like she did with her father's stuff? "I'm just going to do some cleaning, I'll be right back." He murmured before going over to the lounge. Paige watched out of the corner of her eye, but she couldn't see anything as his body was blocking everything he seemed to pick up and place into a box.

Once the mix was done and the pan was ready she started to make pancakes. Monica was sitting on the bench, her little feet dangling off the edge and kicking at air. The pancakes were made and Paige put some on a plate for Monica, and some for Austin. She would eat later, maybe or not. She gave Monica her plate before calling out ' _Pancakes are done'_  so that Austin knew. Paige's phone went off a few seconds after she finished cleaning the dishes.

"Austin, keep an eye on her while I take this." She said before going off into the bedroom, it was work, well were she volunteered at. They asked if she could come in today, one of the workers called in sick. She let out a small and sat on the bed, yeah she could. She would just drop Monica off at Derek's or her mother's. Hanging up, she ran a hand over her face. Her eyes scanned over the room, not much was different, but there were a few boxes in a corner with  _'Paige's Things. DON'T TOUCH'_  written in Austin's hand writing. She walked over to them, opening up one carefully. Inside was all her CD's, DVD's and books, what was in the other ones. So he boxed up her things. She also noticed, the boxes she had, her father's boxes were still where she had left them. Taking in a breath and letting it out she left the room, going back to the kitchen. Smiling she walked over to her daughter, pressing a light kiss to her head.

"Monica sweetie, do you want to go to Derek's today, or Granny's? I got work." Paige asked as her daughter feed her face.

"Derek. I like him." Monica replied with a wide grin before eating her last pancake.

"Thank you for letting us in."

"Yeah, thank you." Monica said handing her plate up to her mother, who took it to the sink. Austin just gave a small nod as he ate his food.

"I'm going; maybe I'll see you later." Paige said, picking up Monica who held onto her mother's neck. She almost leant in to give him a quick kiss on the check, just like old times but she remembered that they weren't together and she was putting up Paige away. Monica said a loud ' _Goodbye_ ' to Austin and waved, which was meet with a small grin and wave.

As Paige left, Austin hung his head and pushed the late aside. His eating habits come and go. Some days he will be eating anything he can, other's he just won't eat at all unless someone else was around. He ran his hand through his hair before grabbing himself a glass of water, he wished he could talk to someone but he can't. Trish is on tour with Ally, Dez is in another country directing a film. Paige, well, she just left. Justin is a no go anymore and his parent's he could talk to them about any of this. They may have once been close, but not anymore and that may be his own fault, he would admit that. He just wanted to spend the day watching reality shows and doing nothing but he had to go into the studio today.

* * *

A week had gone by and he hasn't seen Paige since, nor has he seen has he seen Justin. He had kept all the drugs that were left in the apartment. Ignoring all of Justin's text about giving the oxy back to him. Why should he? It was most of Austin's money that was used to buy it in the first place. He always had a way of getting it before they reconnected. What he had, would last at least a week so he needed to find someone who was willing to supply him. Tonight he was going to go out clubbing and try alcohol to numb him instead of the drugs. He would go as the high as at its halfway point, which would be around nine. So when the time came by he was already heading his way down to the nearest bar. His jacket wrapped around himself as the cold wind blew by, a half smoked cigarette in between his fingers. He took small drags as he walked, watching as the smoke filled the air as he let it out. By the time he reached the bar he had finished the smoke, stopping it out on the ground before he headed in. It took at least three drinks for him to feel buzzed, at least two more to get him dancing on the dance floor, most of his bad thoughts floating away into the back of his mind. Another drink had him laughing along to the jokes some woman was telling him. He was sure she was flirting with him, but he didn't care. Maybe he won't find love. It was too much work trying to make it work with Justin and Paige left him and he was sure she was the one for him, but she clearly thought different. Maybe she was right though, look at him now. Back on the drugs, getting drunk to try and replace the high feeling the drugs gave him.

Swaying a bit, he ordered another drink but was stopped by someone taking hold of the drink before he could. He pouted a bit, reaching out for it only to be pulled back.

"Austin, what are you doing? Are you drunk?" The pout on Austin's face went deeper as whom that voice belonged to registered into his mind. He moved his eyes to the face of the blond, seeing a small frown on her face, making him want to do so many things that he couldn't. "Austin, you are."

"No, just. I want my drink." He replied, reaching out for the drink.

"Austin, no."

"Please. I want it."

"I'm sorry, I can't. You're already drunk. What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. Nothing." He murmured.

"Dance with me, if you can dance okay, I'll allow you to have the drink back. If not, I'm taking you home."

A small sigh left him, "Fine." He replied, watching as Paige handed the drink to a tall, tan bartender behind the bar. She asked him to look after the drink. The dancer took hold of his hand, leading him to the dance floor. The song playing started off soft, so they just slow danced until the music speed up a bit. Austin stumbled a bit as he danced; Paige needed to hold onto his hands so he wouldn't fall completely. As the song was coming to an end, Austin pulled her closer before whispering in her ear "Fuck me." His voice pleading, almost desperate in wanting, actually it sounded as though he was begging. "Fuck me please."

Paige took a step back, "You are drunk. I'm taking you home." She spoke, taking hold of his face in her hands. "There's something on your mind, there has to be. You never get drunk."

"You are Paige. You are. She only knows that. Only her. Why are you lying to me? Why'd you leave me?" Austin's words started to blur together. "I miss you."

Paige gave a small nod to the bartender who gave her a nod in return; she then started to lead Austin out of the bar and towards her car. She helped him into the passenger's side before she climbed in the driver's side. A small laugh left Austin's mouth as the radio switched on; it was one of his songs. It was one released after they weren't together.

"This is about you. You know. I was writing it. But you… the last verse changed after I was told you died." Austin mumbled as he leant his head against the window, tracing his finger on the window. Like he was trying to draw something, but nothing was showing up. Paige didn't reply as she drove. "Paige, talk to me. I miss your voice. I miss your touch."

"What happened to you? Are you are drunk now? Instead of drugs, did you become a drunk? This is not healthy Austin." Her voice came across as harsh. But something in it told him she didn't want to use that tone, like she needed too.

Austin couldn't reply to that. He wasn't a drunk, he still very rarely got drunk, and he was now was back on drugs. But he couldn't admit that to her, he's too ashamed too.  _It will drive her away again_. He thought, so he would just keep quiet on that subject. "Jake. I haven't seen him in…" He started to count on his fingers "Three years. Where is he?"

The female took in a deep breath and let it out. "You know the cemetery near your apartment? He's there." Paige replied, keeping her eyes on the road.

"What? No. How?" Austin murmured as Paige parked the car.

"He killed himself." Paige spoke, killing the engine and climbing out of her car and going to the other side. Austin went silent, he killed himself? Then something went off in his dazed mind. A fragment of a memory flashed in his mind of Jake coming by the apartment asking him about where he may find someone that would be able to give him some oxy, of him going through his drawers to find some and giving some to Jake. Austin started to shake his head a bit.

"Come on Austin. We're going in. And you're going to bed." She reached over to undo his seatbelt as he seemed like he wasn't going to do it himself. She helped him out of the car and he seemed to get back to what was going on.

"Would you lay with me? If we not going to fuck can you still lay next to me, I need someone to lay next too." His words were still slurred a bit, but she heard him

"Only until you fall asleep, okay. I need to get to Monica by morning."

Austin gave a small nod; they walked up the apartment in silence. A muffled humming from Austin, like he was trying to sing but it wasn't coming out. As they reached the door, Austin started to fumble for his keys, but Paige had already got her's out to unlock the door to allow them in. Austin's jaw dropped a bit.

"You still have the key?" His words fumbled over each other. She walked him to the bedroom, sitting him down the bed.

"Hey, I'm going to remove your jacket, is that okay?" Paige asked as she slowly moved her hands so that she was able to remove it when he gave permission. When he nodded she removed it, folding it and placing it aside. "Do you want to change into some PJ's? I will help you." She talked to him as though he was a tired child. Which with how he was acting, he seemed to be one right now. Austin gave a small nod, pointing to the draws where he kept them. Paige flashed him a quick smile before going over, grabbing out a top and some pants. She helped him change his top, but when she was about to help him with his pants he tensed.

"No changing pants. I'll sleep in jeans." He murmured, not looking at her.

"But you hate sleeping in them. You find it annoying, you've complained about it."

"Keep jeans on." He said again, making Paige let out a small sigh.

"Okay then." The dancer said, patting the side of his leg. She removed the blankets so that he could climb in properly; she climbed in after him and lay next to him. Pulling the blankets over them, Austin moved so that he was cuddling into her chest. Paige almost started to go back on her old habit of running her hand through his hair, but she stopped.

"Tell me about Monica." He murmured, tiredness lingering in his voice.

Paige started to tell him about her. About how she loves to dance and sing; that whenever one of his songs came on she never failed to dance along to it. About how she reminds her so much of her father, but she never said aloud that Austin was her father, at least not until his breathing was slow and steady and she was sure he was asleep. She told a story or two, falling asleep next to him like old times. It was like the old times, this moment, her just talking about random things to help him get to sleep. It always helped them both sleep and of course this time was no different.

Morning came by and true to her word; Paige was not in Austin's bed when he woke up. A depleted sigh left the singer's lips and he ran his hand through his hair. A headache was forming in the back of his head. Getting out of bed, he made a face. He hated waking up in jeans, but he remembered why he did. He didn't want her to take off his pants. Too many things ran through his mind, bad and good. He ran his hand over the side of his jeans, across his thighs. He could feel his skin starting to itch, right… he hasn't had a dose of oxy in over 20 hours and it was starting to show. He rubbed hard at his skin, it could wait a bit. He needed coffee first. Walking out into the kitchen he let out a groan, seeing the box from last week, where he had stored the used drugs in while Paige and Monica came by. He thought he got rid of it, or at least thought he put it somewhere that wasn't the kitchen. Bending down to grab a cup from the cupboard he lowered his head.

"Paige? Where are you?" He mused; grabbing a cup he set it on the bench and stood up. She had to still be here, that has to be why the box was in the kitchen.

"Jake died via an oxy overdose. The mark on that stuff in the box, it was on the stuff he had. Justin supplied him it. Justin killed my brother!" Paige's voice spoke, getting louder as she got closer.

* * *

Austin's fist clenched together. It wasn't Justin. He wanted to say. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. He could hear the hurt in Paige's voice already, and if he told her that it was him that gave her brother the drugs, it would get worse and she would walk away from him because he knows she'll figure out he's using again, that he was.

"Austin. Did you hear me? Justin is still dealing drugs; he dealt my brother the drugs he used to kill himself."

Tears started to brim Austin's hazel eyes, his hand went out and he threw the cup to the ground. "I… I know. I know that Justin still deals, but… he's innocent when it comes to Jake." Austin spoke, his voice quiet, his hands shaking and his body itching.

"How? That is clearly his mark. I remember it from the bag you gave me to flush."

"I DID! Okay. Not Justin. Justin didn't know Jake came by, if he did, Jake would probably be still alive. Justin hates you and I'm guessing it would extend to him.  _I_  gave him the drugs. I didn't know he was going to kill himself. I thought maybe he was getting it for a friend.  _I_ am the one who gave Jake the drugs… I killed him, not Justin." The blond male sobbed, falling to the ground. He couldn't look at Paige, it would just crush him. More than just knowing what he was responsible for, he would just crack.

"Austin… Please tell me  _you_  weren't using, that you aren't."

Austin stayed quiet besides the sobs that left him. Paige didn't move nor did Austin until he got up and ran to the bedroom. He shut the door behind him with a slam before he started to rummage in the bedside table. His fingers found the blade that was sitting in there before he found the key to the little box where he kept the drugs. Grabbing out both, he quickly rummaged in his draws for the locked box filled with drug supplies, pulling it out; he pulled out a belt as well. That's when he heard banging on the door. Why was she knocking? There was no lock on the door, never had been. Austin decided to ignore it and opened up the box, pulling out some of the oxy and a needle. Resting it upon his bed next to the blade. He took in a deep breath, slowly letting it out.

"Austin, Open this door up." Paige's voice bellowed as she banged on the door.

"I can't. I can't. You hate me."

"I don't… I don't hate you. Open this door up now, and we can talk. Look, it's not your fault. How were you to know he was going to use it to kill himself, but please, open up."

"I'm sorry Paige." Austin murmured, grabbing hold of the blade in between his fingers. He bit his lip, looking down at the drugs sitting in front of him. His eyes darted in between the blade and the drugs, god; he didn't know what to do. He wiped at his eyes with his free hand before he let it brush over his clothed thigh. Placing the blade carefully between his lips, he undid the buttons of his jeans, letting them fall to the ground. Looking down towards were his underwear ended he saw the scars that littered his upper thigh. Taking the razor out of his mouth, he spun it between his fingers. All the things he swore to himself to never do, for her, for her memory he did. And he hated himself for it. Biting his lower lip he sat himself next to the drugs on his bed, brining the sharp blade to the side of his leg. He pressed it until he felt it prick, a little hiss leaving his lips as he brought it along. It sent a mix of sensations throughout him; it sent relief, it sent some kind of high – or a quick fix for one.

As he brought it across, his eyes followed the blade's path and the blood that started to trickle out. He was about to do another underneath when he felt a pair of hands on his knees. The singer's eyes moved to see's Paige's face. The emotion's that were showing on her face made him close his eyes; he couldn't deal with those emotions. The disappointment, the hurt and the sadness etched upon her features.

Paige slowly moved her hand to grab hold of the razor of which he let drop out of his hand into hers. Placing it to the side she moved her hand to under his chin, moving his face to meet hers even if he won't open up his eyes, she wanted to see his face. A light frown had formed on her lips. Keeping her hand holding his chin, the woman moved her other hand to press against the cut. Taking in a deep breath before she spoke

"Austin, listen to me, okay." There was a strain in her voice, like she was trying not let her emotion's fall into her voice, but it was failing as the sadness was starting to seep into it. "I do not hate you. Look at my wrist. Just look at it and you can close your eyes again." She said, removing her hand from under his chin, showing the side of her wrist where the letters ' _AM_ ' were tattooed. Seeing Austin open his eyes she flashed a quick smile before he closed them again. "You see that, those are  _your_ initials. I can never hate you, even though you left me alone, scared and pregnant. I still don't hate you. Yes, I may hate what you did. I just… I still love you. I do still love you Austin." She spoke, her voice breaking at the end as tears filled her eyes.

Austin shook his head, his hair falling into his eyes as he did. "I didn't leave you. I thought you died. That wasn't a lie for my fans. It wasn't. Y-Your mother, she was your doctor, she told me to wait. Cos you faint and she was the f-first doctor to see. She took you and I had to stay otherwise security was to kick me out.  _She_  told me you died. I didn't leave you Paige. She wouldn't even let me in to see you; I wanted to slip the ring on your finger, just so I had given it to you." Austin replied, a few sobs falling from him as he did.

Paige gulped a bit, that did make sense to her. Her mother hated Austin and with how she acted towards her own son, of course she was capable enough to do that to Austin. "I… am an idiot. I'm stupid. I knew it didn't make sense when she told me that you bolted when she told you. But it was convincing because she allowed me to go and see if you were still there and you weren't. I've spent these years trying to avoid you because I thought you didn't love me enough."

"I would have wanted to raise Monica with you. I do…You named her that because of middle name didn't you?" He sucked in a deep breath and opened his eyes to look at her.

Paige nodded "Yeah, because she needed something of her father."

"I still love you Paige, I do."

Paige leaned her head up towards his, stopping when she could feel his breathing ghosting over her lips. A million thoughts going through her mind as she tried to make a coherent sentence come out of her. "I… You want to raise Monica, you can help. But… I think it has to be as my friend."

"I..I can't. I can't be friends. You know that. Just like you know when I'm lying. You know we can't be friends." Austin murmured in a small voice.

"I do…" She replied in the same quiet voice, that's when her mind decided for her "Can I?"

"Yes." the singer's reply came in a soft breath.

Then that was when their lips collided, it was soft as their lips melted into each other. One of Austin's moved to cup Paige's cheek as the kiss went on, slowly getting heated before Paige pulled away resting her forehead against his.

"A-Austin." Her voice was barely there, almost like it was just able to get through. "You will need to… to go to rehab."

He nodded "I know. C-Can you take me? I… I don't think I can do it myself. But for you, for Monica I will. I need too."

"Of course I can. We should clean up this cut. Then I will drive you there and help you sign in. Go into the bathroom, get started and I will be in there soon." She said with a small faint smile, pulling herself away from him, allowing him to get up and go. Taking the corners of the duvet on top of the bed, she folded the drugs and the blade into it. After dropping him off, she will come clean out the apartment. He could move into her apartment with her and Monica when he got out. She was about to head to the bathroom with Austin's pant and a pair of shoes when her phone went off. Getting it out, she read the text:

 **Derek:**  URGENT! ABOUT MONICA! GET TO YOUR MOTHER'S HOUSE QUICK!

 **Paige:**  Okay. I'll get there as quick as I can.

She sent back before rushing into the bathroom, chucking the items to Austin who was attending to the cut.

"Put those on, now! We need to do a stop before we go to rehab." Paige said, making rushing movements to him.

"What? Where?"

"My mother's house. I got a text, there's something about Monica. My friend said it was urgent. Come on. You can stay in the car if you want too." Paige replied, deciding to pick up Austin's shoes. "Put these on in the car." She said before heading out after Austin got his pants on.

* * *

They quickly got in the car, Paige dropping Austin's shoes onto the passengers' seat as he climbed in. She started the car and drove as fast as she could to her mother's house; she took note of Derek's car parked on the other side of the road. Austin had opted to stay in the car, not wanting to cause any trouble and Paige understood. The blonde woman walked into her mother's house without knocking, she could hear arguing and followed it.

"Monica, come here." Derek's voice said in a soft voice, Paige entered the room to see Monica hiding in the corner of the room and her mother standing in front of her. What was going on? Paige thought. There was a struggle on her daughter's face, like she wanted to go to Derek but was afraid too.

"She is not going with you!" Her mother's voice growled out.

"Why not mother?" Paige asked, getting her mother's attention. She watched as the expression went from anger to a false sense of hurt.

"You need to break up with Derek. He is just going to tell you lies about me."

"Mum, what are you talking about? You picked him out for me, now you hate him?" Paige asked, raising an eyebrow towards her mother before she bent down and beckoned for Monica to come to her and the little girl came running towards her. She picked her up before passing her over to Derek. As she did, Monica's shirt raised and there was a new bruise. A frown formed on the blonde's lips, when the male had a good grip on her daughter she lifted up to see it better.

"Monica sweetie, how did you get this?" She asked in a soft voice, but was met with silence from her daughter who buried her head into Derek's neck. "Derek?"

"It wasn't by accident, ask your mother." Was his reply, his eyes glaring daggers into her mother.

"Take Monica to my car, she'll be fine in there, her father is in the car too." Paige said, giving a quick smirk to her mother as she turned to face her. Derek left with Monica while her mother stood there slack jawed. "Now mother, why does my daughter have a bruise upon her body?"

"She fell."

"How? And where?"

"She was bouncing on the couch." Her mother crossed her arms against her chest. Like she was trying to say challenge me.

"Then why was the bruise on the side of her, and her arm is perfectly okay? Mum, did you, or did you not inflect that bruise upon your own grandchild?" The dancer asked.

"I did not. And how can you let her near Austin! That filthy, addict that's all he will ever be."

"No, mum, don't bullshit me. Is that what you thought about dad?" Paige mused, waiting for her mother's answer.

Austin was sitting in the car; he could feel the drugs starting to wear off completely. If these were the jeans from last night, a small bag should be in it… but he couldn't… but the feeling and urge was growing with every second that the drug was starting its way out. At the bar, he had taken a few pills before Paige found him and it was wearing out, making him itch. He clenched his fist, unclenching them when he noticed a guy come out of the house towards the car, holding Monica. Austin just watched as he opened up the back door to help Monica in the car. His face looked familiar; almost like the bartender from last night… wait it was him. Did he call Paige to get him?

"Hey, I'm Derek; I'm one of Eliza's friends." He spoke to Austin, turning his head towards the blond with a small smile before turning his attention back to Monica as he finished getting her into her seat.

"I'm Austin." Was what he could manage to get out before scratching at his arm, hard.

"Austin… You're withdrawing; do you have any of what you take on you?" Derek asked, making Austin do a double take. Why would he ask that? And he now can't take it; Monica is in the car, now he defiantly can't. "For the safety of everyone when she drives you to the centre, take it. I don't want her to end up crashing."

"That won't happen. I can't take it; there is a kid in the car. No way. I want to get clean."

Derek took in a deep breath and let it out. "Trust me, you withdrawing like this is going to get worse and it's what? A half hour drive there, please, just so you can all arrive there safely. Because my sister was withdrawing like this while my mother took her to the centre, they didn't make it to the centre."

"H…How?"

"Some of the things her body did caused my mother to worry badly and they crashed because she tried to take care of her while she was driving. I don't want that to happen. I want you guys to be a good family. I can keep Monica distracted for a few minutes." He said before speaking to Monica, getting her attention and starting a hand game. Austin took a deep breath and pulled out the bag, there were a few pills. Popping them into his mouth he closed his eyes and swallowed them dry. Hoping the effects kick in quick enough. Minutes passed into half an hour before Paige came out, her mother on her tail.

"Screw you mother, I'm filing for a restraining order." Paige yelled to her mother as she opened up the driver's side. Austin sliding down on the seat, trying to hid himself.

"Good, while you're at it, file one for Derek too." Her mother shot back, glaring at Austin in the passenger's side and towards Derek who closed the door to the backseat.

"No, not against them, it's against you mother. You will never lay a hand on Monica ever again, nor will you ever speak to us again. You deserve to be alone, and when are you going to admit to yourself that Jake killed himself, he didn't die abusing. He died because he chose too." Paige said, slamming her door shut as she got in and started up the car. Paige gave a quick hello to Monica before driving away.

* * *

The drive to the centre was slow; Monica sat in the back singing along to the radio as song played. Austin say anything, he knew if Paige wanted to talk she would. Not even now will he force her to speak. Never have, never will. Nearing the Recovery Centre Paige decided to speak up.

"I'm sorry Monica; you should have told me what she did to you. Now, we won't ever see her again, okay. She can never hurt you again." Paige said giving a quick glance to her daughter before getting her eyes on the road again. Monica nodded her head a bit, giving a quite okay. "Austin, I'm also sorry. I should have contacted you after that day. Maybe this wouldn't have happened. All of this crap that has happened. Maybe I should have called you just to get your answer, which would have turned into me finding out it was false. And I'm going to shut up, I'm starting to ramble, but I am so sorry. I shouldn't have believed my mother's word when all she feeds me is lies."

"Don't be sorry, you must have been so scared being pregnant and all. I understand not wanting to get stressed or whatever. After you drop me off, can you tell my parents? They still live where they did when we were together." Austin replied, playing with his fingers as his eyes looked towards the floor of the car.

"Of course I can, want me to tell the others. Trish, Ally and Dez." Paige questioned as she took the last turn before the rehab centre.

"No, they're busy with work. I don't want bother them. Dez is overseas and Ally is on tour, and Trish is with her. They shouldn't drop everything for me. They practically almost did that the first time."

"Okay, I respect that, but when they get back tell them. Just so they know, I will vouch for you getting clean." The blonde spoke giving the singer a smile as she parked the car. Killing the engine she got out of the car, and got out Monica, not wanting to leave her in the car by herself. The girls waited for Austin to join them on their side before walking in, Monica playing with her mother's hair.

"Mummy, why are we at your work?" Monica asked as her eyes lay upon the front doors of the centre. Paige noticed Austin give a small tilt of his head in confusion. Yeah,

"Because we are dropping Austin off here okay. I don't have work, but you can go find Sherrie, she misses you." Paige said and Monica nodded. Paige put her daughter down and she walked into the place, Austin and Paige not far behind. Paige looked at Austin, "I volunteer here, I managed to keep it hidden from my mother that I do. Come on, let's get you signed in."

"So, I can see you often." He mused, hoping that he could, that would make going through this again better. Having her by his side while he went through this, like she was the first time round would make him feel slightly better about going through it all. In the corner of his eyes he saw her nod, making him smile a little to himself, it disappearing when he walked in. Paige moved her hand so he would go ahead to the front desk and he did. He watched as Monica ran up to a woman with her very curly black hair, and nice dark skin tone. His eyes watched the pair; Monica's mouth seemed to be going a million miles per hour as the women nodded along every now and then. Austin moved his attention away when he felt a nudge in his side, "Yeah I know Paige. Sorry she just seems so lively, like you." He murmured before he walked up to desk. "Hey, I'm here to check in." He said with a small sad smile.

The women behind the desk nodded. "And your name?" She asked

"Austin Moon." He replied, holding his hands together, starting to wring them together as she started going through stuff on the desk before pulling out a clipboard.

"You just need to put in your name, birth date and what you take." She said with a light smile upon her lips. "When you are done, I can just get Eliza here to get you through." The woman said before gesturing to Paige. "If you don't mind that is, you did come in with him. I thought you may want to help a bit more."

"I do, Gin. I will take him through the process." She replied, giving a reassuring smile to Austin who nodded and started to fill out the form. It only took a few seconds and he was ready to go. Paige took the clipboard and smiled before starting off down through a door, Austin following behind.

The detox process was tiring on the performer, his skin itched and he scratched at it. It was a whole three days in a room, with no one else in his room. Only visit from the nurses to supply him with food and water. He wondered what would happen; he hasn't heard anything about his parents yet. Maybe Paige decided not to tell them. It had been a two weeks now since he has been in the centre again; he's seen glimpses of Paige so he guessed she was too busy to visit him. He was now heading to a therapy session with a doctor. He has to do a few one on ones before he is allowed to speak with a group, so that they can assess him and see what will be best for him. As he was heading to the doctors room he heard Paige's voice coming from a group room. She was telling a story; well she was talking about Jake. Austin paused in his steps to listen to her.

"…Yeah, my brother wasn't an addict but he did die of an overdose. I can't help but feel guilty because it was partly my fault. With the attention my mother gave me over him. My mother thinks he was an addict ' _Just like your father, he was a no good useless bastard. Just like Monica's father. I hope to god you never speak to him again.'_  Those were her words she spoke to me after Jake's funeral as everyone was leaving and Monica was asleep. Drugs haven't affected me the way that they have all of you, but they have affected the people I love. Including the guy I was, actually still am to this day in love with. I recently caught up with him, and yeah, he's my daughter's father. I'm pretty sure she is more the reason he's getting clean then me." She spoke, and his heart sank a little. He still did love her as much he did when they were together. He's doing it for both of them, for himself all at the same wanting. "He had a relapse, he was clean. We both were, I of self harm and he of oxy. I do not know what happened in the years after my mother decided to fuck up both of our lives for him to get back on it. Maybe it was the guy he was with. I don't know. All I care about right now is him getting clean, and him getting happy. I don't want to lose him like I did." Paige finished with a sigh, before saying. "Now that you guys know my story, I guess I should get back to actually working. But thank you for letting me tell you. And Doctor Carter, now you know what happened that day"

Austin heard a faint voice saying thank you before the sound of someone walking towards the door. He was slightly stunned to move, that was until Paige came out. He gave a small shake of his head, smiling at her.

"Austin, hey, what are you up to now?" She question with a friendly smile.

"I'm heading to a therapy session with a doctor." He replied, eyes finding to the ground.

"Cool, who is it?"

"Uh… Dr Hellinstin." Austin spoke as he started to walk; he noted Paige's feet right beside him. It was silent for a while as they walked.  _Why did the solo works have to be across the centre?_  He thought. Austin didn't mind the silence that was between them, it was nice, like it use to be, but with what he just heard his heart was still a little hurt and she clearly didn't know that he heard all of it, well most of her talking. After another few seconds he asked her "Why don't you think I'm trying to get clean for you, just as much as I am for Monica?"

Hearing the question, Paige paused a little in her steps but continued. "Because, I'm just me. I'm not your flesh and blood, but she is. You want to be in her life."

"But I want to be in yours too. I hate that I got back into oxy. When I took it that first day of my relapse, I fucking hated myself, so much I did the first cut." Austin replied back, eyes not leaving the ground. "I was at war with myself. Doing drugs and cutting myself. I had promised myself I wouldn't do any of that, but I did and hated myself for it, which only just caused me to do it again, to get rid of those feelings. What I did find with doing the drugs again, was that they dulled my memory of you. They would fade the memories, the feelings never. Memories would fade, just never the feelings. They stuck and kept me in the war. I lied to Justin about starting drugs again, to cover mine and Jake's ass for me giving him the drugs. So then when he got high later that day, he asked me join, and I just couldn't say no. I am not blaming Jake, if that is what it may sound like I'm doing, I'm not. It was  _my_  choice to go ahead with my lie. I fucking love you Paige, but if you seriously say we can't be friends and don't want us back together. I don't know what I will do. God, I'm pathetic. I will stay away, I will if that is what you want, because I don't think I can just be friends with you. It will drive me insane."

"Austin, look at me." Paige spoke her voice soft and worried as she stopped walking, Austin doing the same. She waited for him to lift his head, but it didn't happen and a frown spread across her lips. "Please, Austin."

Biting his lip, Austin lifted his head up a little. "You're frowning." He murmured lowering his head again, only for it to be brought up again. Saddened hazel eyes meeting green sympathetic ones.

"Yeah I am, because that's my reaction to not seeing your face. Austin, I don't want to be friends with you either and I don't want you out of my life either. I want you in my life, forever. Okay, I do. Now that I know that my mother screw us the fuck over. I don't blame you for  **anything**  that you have done. Relapsing, cutting or supplying my brother with oxy. Okay, I need you to know this. To believe this. I fucking love you too." She said before placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Austin, hurry up. I'm waiting." Dr Hellintsin's voice came as the women stepped out of the door. Her hair tied up in a ponytail. "And Eliza, someone called Mimi called about Monica. I don't think it's urgent, but the woman sounded a little scared."

"Okay Sherrie, Thank you." Paige said before turning to Austin. "Hurry up; I'll be around later, or tomorrow."

Austin gave a small nod and headed towards Sherrie. Paige headed away, and went to go to Mimi and Mike's place.

* * *

Arriving at the Moon's place, Paige walked in knocking on the door frame of the open door as she did. She walked into living room, seeing Monica playing with her toys while Mrs Moon watched with a small smile on her face. Which made her think; she actually never saw her mother look at daughter the way Mimi was. "Hi Mrs Moon," Paige greeted as she walked in.

"Hey Paige, and what have I said about calling me Mrs Moon. You can call me Mimi." She replied looking at the younger woman with a small smile upon her lips.

"I know, but I've only been back in your lives for a week. I wouldn't feel right. You called my work?"

"Yeah, I knew you were there and thought it would be better to call the place instead of your cell phone. Your mother called, she started to go off at me and telling me I was a bad mother. She threatened to come get Monica. I hung up after that."

"Good, if she does come over, call the cops right away. I'm starting to file a restraining order against her. And I'm getting a friend of mine to do so as well, and it will also include against Austin. She won't be allowed near him either." Paige decided to sit down on the couch, next to Mimi. "I know I haven't properly apologised, but I am sorry. I caused a rift between you and your son. Without meaning to, I did. He seems to be getting better, but I think he may need to see a therapist. When he's out, because I know depression and he's got it. Whether it's due to his drug use or me and the trouble I caused him, it's there and I want him to be a better person for himself."

Mimi nodded her head a bit, she was a little saddened to hear it but she knew it would be for the best. "I understand. No need to apologise, okay. You didn't know."

"You know that video going around with him at a concert and he's talking about me? And a ring" Paige said with a small sigh, digging her hand into her pocket of the jeans she wore. In the corner of her eyes she saw Mrs Moon give a small nod, so she then pulled out the ring. "I was that fan. The woman with the kid, I was her. I shield my face and being blonde made it better for him not to notice. He really wanted to marry me?"

A light smile graced Mimi's face. "He did. One day he asked me about how Mike proposed to me, I thought nothing of it really. Thought he was just curious. Then when he came crying on our front steps, he told us he was going to propose but couldn't. He stayed in his room for a whole week, only coming out to eat or go to the bathroom. Not even pancakes would get him out."

"Pancakes?" Monica piped up with a huge grin on her face as she looked up from the toy car and doll she was playing with.

"Just like her father." Mimi commented, making both Paige and Mimi smile.

" Very much." Paige replied, "Do you want pancakes? We can go home and I can make some."

"Why not stay here, we have all the stuff. And Mike is going to be home soon, perks of hiring a new manager at the store, we don't need to be there constantly. But of course we check in a lot."

"Okay, I just didn't want to make a burden of myself on you guys."

"You can never, you explained what happened. Plus we love Monica and will always be happy to look after her whenever it is needed. So if you and Austin want some alone time, we will take care of her. It will make up for the five years we missed." Mimi spoke, a little of handily. She didn't mean anything about it to come off as mean and Paige knew that, but that didn't stop her from feeling guilty about it.

"I'm sorry about that. I am." A small frown graced her lips before she stood up, walking over to Monica and ruffling her hair a bit. "You play, while I make some pancakes, yeah?"

The little redhead nodded her head very enthusiastically and continued to play with her toys, while Paige went to the kitchen, Mimi stayed in the living room, watching as her granddaughter played with the toys.

Back at the rehab centre Austin was finishing up with Dr Hellintsin, she had said that he can start going to group sessions, but that she still wanted one on one times with him. He nodded with a small smile before he stood up to leave.

"Do this for Eliza and Monica, I know your relation to them." The doctor spoke before Austin reached the door. "Don't worry, I won't spill to anyone. Have a good day, go eat something I haven't seen you eat a thing since you've been here, and I've seen your plate when it comes back out of your room. Eat."

"I do eat." That was a lie he barley did anymore but he knew that is what she was getting at bit he didn't care. Eating wasn't a priority for him, getting clean was. He then shut out the doctors' words as he opened up the door and exited. Taking a deep breath he headed outside to sit in one of the chairs out there. To soak up some sun, and use the time to think about everything, everything he's screwed up, everything that he needed to fix. He was lost in his thoughts, lying back on wooden chair when someone's shadow blocked the sun, making him feel a little cold. Opening his eyes, his eyes saw a woman, her sandy blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. Shadows crossed her face as the sun beamed behind her.

"Hey, you're blocking the sun; it was kind of keeping me warm." Austin said with a small smile towards the girl. Lifting a hand up to block the rays of sun that were blurring his vision, to make it easier for him to see the woman in front of him. He noticed that she had two drink bottles in her hand, and she held one out to him. "No thank you." Austin politely declined it with a small dismal shake if his head, only to have it chucked at him, making him catch it in his hands.

"Austin, drink up. Or have this." The blond woman said pulling out a muesli bar from the pocket of the hoodie that she was wearing. She held the bar out to him and he let out a deflated sigh, taking the cap off the bottle and taking a sip.

"How'd ya know my name? I haven't told you it yet." And he's barely been out of his room, and if he was it was to be with a doctor or sit outside in the warmth of the sun never to talk to anyone else.

"Maybe because you are Austin Moon, you know famous singer and all, or it may be because I once dated you back in high school." She said before taking a seat on the chair next to him.

Her comment made Austin think. He listed off all the girls he ever once went on date with, even just one date with. There was Cassidy, Kira and Brooke. And he knew that it wasn't Kira, the woman's skin was too light for it to be her. It was…

* * *

"It's Brooke, remember." She spoke, opening up her bottle and taking a sip. Placing the drink on the ground she looked at Austin. "Do you remember me?"

"Yeah. You scrapbooked our dates didn't you?" Austin questioned with a tilt of his head.

A light laugh fell from her lips. "Yeah I did, I do realise that the things that I scrapbooked, may have been the wrongs things to put in the book. There could have been better picks then what I picked. My ex, we scrapbooked things like our movie tickets and that stuff. But now she doesn't want anything to do with a drug addict. But I'm here to get clean, just like you are. I'm guessing you relapsed?"

Austin nodded his head a little "I did, it was a mistake but I need to get clean if I want to spend time with Paige and Monica."

"Paige? Monica?" Brooke asked tilting her head as she opened up the bar. "Thought you said Paige died, I went to that concert. Ally is amazing."

"I thought she died, turns out she was just pregnant and her mother decided she was going to play god between me and her." Austin replied, eyes looking out into the open space. A soft sigh leaving his lips before he added; "She named our daughter Monica, after being told that I 'ran away' at hearing the news." He said, putting air quotes around the words 'ran away'.

"At least you know she still loves you. She had too to name her that. So what will happen between you two? Because wouldn't you technically be separated?" Brooke asked, after the words came out she realised she is probably being too intrusive on his life. "Second thought; no need to answer that. I'm just being a little nosy."

The singer shrugged a little and took another sip of his drink. "I don't know. We might sort it out properly when I get out." He said with another shrug, he couldn't live without her and she keeps saying the same thing, but they hadn't actually talked about what they were going to do about it. A sigh left his lips as he rested his arm across his forehead. "I just don't know anymore. She could change her mind, and I wouldn't blame her. I'm pretty useless. Couldn't stay clean without her, I don't blame anyone for not wanting to be with me or near me anymore."

Brooke frowned at hearing him talk about himself like that. He was  **Austin Fucking Moon**  for crying out loud. He bet drug addiction once; he surely can do it again. "Austin, you are not useless. Just because you relapsed, doesn't mean you are useless. It was a coping mechanism. It was something that allowed you to cope with what you were going through. Plus, when I was reading up on addiction before I got addicted, I know ironic." She said as she noticed Austin's little head tilt. "It's a disease, and you are getting help for it and it coming back at you just means you need to fight back harder. And I can tell you want too, but you also need to eat. You cannot come in here with one problem and go out with another. Treat both in here."

"I don't know what you're talking about. If it's depression you are talking about, they said it was a side effect of the drug use." Austin replied, he had a feeling that was not the thing she was trying to point out. Especially with the expression that crossed her face when he glanced a quick look at her.

"You aren't eating, that is what I'm talking about and you know it. I know depression is a side effect, but it can also be the cause of an addiction, which I think it was for you."

"I'm not really hungry though." He said, moving his eyes away from her.

"Are you not hungry all the time? This not eating thing is eating at you. Your face is not as vibrant as it use to be, it's more sunken in, not as full as it once was. Austin, please eat. Before I leave this place, I need to know that you are eating properly." Brooke said as she sat on the side of Austin's chair, knocking his legs a bit to make room for herself.

"Guess I'll have to fake it then." He murmured under his breath, he couldn't see himself eating properly, not now, not ever. Why should he? He's just a waste of space right? Why feed him to keep him living any longer?

"Austin. For your daughter then." Brooke commented, not caring if it would cross a line, but he needed to eat and if her saying this got him to eat something decent she didn't care if he would hate her for it. "So you can be in her life, so you can be in Paige's life. You can't be if you don't eat."

"You aren't my mother, I don't need anyone policing what I eat or do not eat. Just let me be." Austin replied, he was starting to get defensive in his speech. He ran his hand over his face a sigh leaving him as he rested his hands over his eyes. "Please, just, I… I can't take being told I have one more thing wrong with me. Just let me eat when I do, and leave me be if I don't."

"I'm trying to help you. But if you don't want it, I'll stop. And I know I'm not your mother, I want to be your friend." Brooke said before standing up "But if you won't even accept that, I will just leave you alone. So, if you want to talk to me again, or accept my friendship find me and make the first move." And with that, she left Austin to where he was.

* * *

A few days went by and he stayed in his room unless he needed to go out of it. He honestly did not feel like interacting with anyone so he didn't. Though he had a feeling that him doing this would make him have to stay longer in this place of which he didn't want. A small sigh left his lips before he turned onto his side to face his door, a tray of food lying by it. He was brought it at lunch but he hasn't touched a thing on it since it was brought in and that was around an hour ago. Seconds went by before a knocking was heard upon his door, but he didn't say anything. It would most likely be one of the people who worked here to pick up the tray anyway. Another knock and Austin buried his head into the pillow, a light groan leaving him. They only needed to knock once, twice was annoying. _Just open the door and get the tray_ , Austin thought before he heard the slight creak that his door did when it opened. A small sigh of relief left him when he heard it but he stiffened when he felt the bed dip. No one really sat on others beds without being asked.

"Why haven't you eaten?" With the question, he thought it was Brooke, but the voice didn't match the dark blonde's voice. That was because it matched another blonde's voice.

* * *

The performer didn't want to look at her; she wouldn't have a pleased look on her face. Not with that sad tone in her voice when she asked that question. He barely liked hearing that tone in Paige's voice, let alone seeing it on her face.

"Austin, are you okay? Please answer truthfully." She asked, placing her hand upon his shoulder.

Austin shook his head. No he wasn't, and to this day he cannot bear to lie to her, even about something as small as this. He slowly moved so that he could sit up and see her face, getting a quick glance he noticed something that made his eyes stick to looking up at her. Her hair, it wasn't blonde anymore. Slowly he reached out a hand towards her hair. When she didn't move away, he took it as a signal that he could run his fingers through it. As he did, he smiled as the soft red hair fell between his fingers he pulled it out in front of him, past her chin before it all fell out. It was also now shorter, back to its length from when they were together. He saw a quick smile flash upon her lips, which made himself smile in return. He loved her smile.

"Still so pretty." He said, repeating words he once said to her when they were younger, before they dated. He had meant to tell her he liked her blonde, but guess he never got the chance to do so. "No matter what, your hair will always look pretty. Even no hair."

"Yeah? I thought I should go back to my original hair colour, maybe even talk to Dez. I… I still haven't. So he doesn't know you are here unless your parents have told him, same with Ally and Trish." She spoke, her eyes quickly glancing to her hands, which took him a few seconds to realise held the tray of food. Taking in a deep breath she placed it in front of him and he looked away from it. "Please eat. Even half, I'll eat the other half if you do that. I've been told that you aren't eating, by both Brooke and Sherrie."

Austin shook his head a little, keeping his eyes fixed on the door knob. "I don't want too." Were the words that barely came out of his mouth. Causing Paige to frown a little, picking up the sandwich that was on the plate and unwrapping it from the plastic that was keeping it fresh. She held it out in front of Austin's face, making him turn his head towards the other side.

"I can do this all day, because Monica is very stubborn and I've been doing this kind of battle with her for almost three years. And I can see where she gets it from." Paige replied to his head turning, a small sigh left her but she didn't waver her arm, only to hold it out in front of him again. "Eat this, and I can make you pancakes for dessert. I can sweet talk them into letting me do that for you."

The blond just shook his head. "I don't even want pancakes." He spoke in reply, biting his lips as he did. Seeing as Paige arm bend as she pulled back, in the corner of his eyes he could see the frown that placed upon her lips making him advert his eyes to the sheets like they were the most interesting thing in the world to him.

Worry filled Paige's eyes, he didn't even want pancakes? That was a huge red flag to her. He never turned having pancakes down, they were his favourite food to have and here he was turning them down. "Austin please." The redhead said, her voice breaking with a pleading tone. "Please eat. Anything. I…" She took in a deep breath and let it out. "I won't leave until you do. I'll tell your parents, because… lift up your shirt."

Austin closed his eyes, but a few seconds later he lifted up his shirt. Exposing his fragile body, how thin it had gotten over the years with the use of the drugs and the barely eating he did. He heard a small quiet gasp leave her lips. Did she not notice how thin he was when she helped him change that night, or did she just do her best not to look at him as she did? Probably the later, he knew she probably didn't want to look because she's feel like she was doing something wrong by looking. He let go of the hem he was holding, letting the material fall back over his body.

"You need to eat." Paige said, standing up and sitting next to Austin on the bed. "Will this be better, that way you don't feel like you are being watched? If I'm next to you like this, will it?" She questioned, placing the sandwich back onto the plate and resting her head against his shoulder. "Please, because seeing how thin you actually are has got me worried, more then when I realised you relapsed. Please, or I can get Monica in and she will tell you to eat and she will not take no for an answer." She would know, she's been on the receiving end of one of Monica's ' _You gotta eat'_ speeches and it's not all that cute as you would think a five year old would be capable of, though Paige thinks that this is because of her mother and what she has told Monica about eating disorders and all that stuff. "And I will tell your parents about it, and Ally, Dez and Trish. You will have seven people worried about you and you not eating. So, cut down that number by just eating now."

Austin let out a small sigh and picked up the sandwich. "You promise not to tell them?" He said as he brought it in front of his face. Paige nodded her head.

"Our little problem to fix."

"Okay." Austin replied and bit into the sandwich, he chewed it a bit fast. It took him about ten minutes to finish everything on the tray, just leaving the small cupcake left, which he left for Paige. She took it with a smile and started to eat it. As she finished the last bite Austin moved quickly towards the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him and she could hear him retching in the toilet after the ringing of the slammed door died down. A sad smile spread across Paige's face as she walked to the bathroom; opening the door to see him leaning over the toilet, dry heaving. She sat next to him, rubbing his back. "Why couldn't I keep that down?" He asked between breaths.

"You haven't eaten in a while, and you practically scoffed down that food. Maybe you ate it too fast for your body to adjust to you finally eating again. And this was its reflex. But at least you did eat." Paige replied, in a soothing voice. Carefully she moved him away from the toilet bowl, reaching her hand up to grab some of the toilet paper to wipe the side's of his mouth clean, just in case. She couldn't see anything, but it was always good to clean up. Dropping the used stuff into the toilet she flushed it as she stood up before holding out her hand for him to take hold and she would help him up. After he was up, she placed a quick kiss upon his forehead. "I'm proud of you. Okay. I will say it until you believe it, and even then I will still tell you after that. Because I will always be proud of you, because you are you and your try."

Austin's eyes looked towards the ground. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't be proud of me. I relapsed, I started to cut, and I barely eat. None of that is something to be proud of."

She let out a small sigh, taking his hand and bringing him to the bed where they both sat down. Paige kissed his cheek. "Look how far you have gotten with your career that is something to be proud of. You are in a rehab centre trying to get better, trying to fix a problem you have, that is something to proud of. You want to get better that is something to be proud of. Past actions do not define you, because you are trying to better them."

"I shouldn't have done them in the first place." Austin murmured, letting go of her hand and starting to play with his fingers.

"You can't change your past, nor can you change impulses, but you can work on controlling them. Look at my arms." Paige said as she rolled up her sleeves, her scars showing. "I went back to it, I did, I will admit to that, but look, how old do you think the most recent cut is? Months since the last one because I learnt control, I got control back. And I know that you can too."

"How can I? What if I end up relapsing again?"

"I'll be there for you. You need to go to a meeting at four in the morning I will help you find one. Okay, I am not giving up on you. Not now, not that I know the truth of my mother's fucked up plan. Why? I know you will want to ask that. Because I love you, always have, and probably always will. No matter how you fuck up, because I know you will fix it somehow. You will try too. Come on, let's go outside and have a smoke? I got my pack and we can just share. Okay."

Austin let out a small sigh and nodded. Paige took hold of Austin's hand before leading him out of his room and heading towards a corner near the end of the place, away from everyone but not out of bounds of the centre. Sitting down, the redhead rested her head upon his shoulder, pulling out the packet of cigarettes out of her hoodie's pockets. Grabbing out one she placed it between her lips before holding the packet out for Austin to grab one, when he did she lit up her smoke and passed the lighter to him. Taking a drag of the smoke she closed her eyes and letting out the grey smoke out of the corner of her mouth. The smoke being blown away from Austin's face, and Austin did the same, blowing his away from her face. They sat there for a while, not saying anything, just taking drags of their cigarettes. A minute or two passed by before Paige spoke.

"I'm bringing in Monica tomorrow. Your parents are going to be busy so they can't look after her, and Derek he has the closing shift at the bar and I don't want to have to make him deprived of sleep just so he can look after her. So, I'll make a deal with you. Before I leave here, we will eat dinner together. And you take it slow and if you eat anything in the morning you can see her, and talk to her. I can ask either Brooke or Sherrie to check when I arrive or you tell them and it will get back to me. If not, I'm going to leave her with Sherrie when she's not with me. I don't want to make you feel bad, but I want to set you a goal. Do this, so you can do that. If it's too harsh, let me know. And you know the rule. Don't sugar coat a thing."

Austin nodded his head a little, "Okay. I get it. See it as a goal more than a threat."

"Good." Paige said as she put out the bud of her smoke before leaning up to kiss his check. "I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

Paige stayed on her word and ate dinner with him before she left, she had to remind him to take it slow but other than that it was like old times, well also besides being in a rehab centre that wasn't like the past. As the next day rolled around Paige and Monica were on their way to the rehab centre when Paige got a text, pulling over she checked it, hoping it was Sherrie saying that Austin had eaten his breakfast or something for it. A small smile spread across her face when she read the text.

 **Sherrie:** We gave him a muesli bar, some juice and some scrambled eggs. When we went to get the tray it came back half empty

 **Paige {Eliza}:** That's good at least he has eaten today. I've got Monica with me today, but she may end up staying with Austin a lot.

 **Sherrie:**  That's alright. You know the rules with Monica.

 **Paige {Eliza}:**  That I do.

Soon the pair arrived, Paige signed in and took Monica around so that she could say hello to everyone that worked there, and some of the patients who were walking around. When they came up to Austin's room, Paige picked her up, careful of Monica's backpack. "Monica, this is your father's room, okay. I know I haven't really told you who he was, but I am today. Okay. Please don't hate me or him okay. Promise me?" Paige said to her, Monica nodded holding out her hand, lifting out her pinkie which Paige smiled at, wrapping her finger around it.

"I promise mommy. I love you, and if daddy is going to be nice, I will love him." Monica smiled.

"Good, do you want to knock?" The redhead asked her daughter who nodded and held out her hand and knocked upon the door. "It's Paige and Monica."

A few seconds went by before the door opened; Austin was wearing a baggy, long sleeved shirt. His hair was a mess, like he hasn't bothered to brush it today. "Hey. I did eat today. I also remembered to go slow about it." Austin greeted with a light smile on his face, it widened a little when he saw Monica on Paige's side. "Hey Monica."

"You are Austin Moon. Mummy, you said this was daddy's room." Monica spoke turning to her mother.

"It is, he is."

"But you…"

"I know what I told you. But that was because of my mummy, she told me some bad stuff. But me and Austin have sorted it out. And this is the truth; he is your daddy okay."

"Oh…. Okay. Hi daddy." Monica said turning to face Austin again, smiling big at him. "Carry me in please?" She added with a light pout, holding out her arms for him to take her.

He laughed a little "Okay." He got a grip on her before Paige let her go and now she was hugging his neck as she was held at his side.

"I'll be in for lunch. And I'll see if I can get pancakes for you Monica." Paige said before walking off, leaving her daughter with Austin.

Austin brought her in, sitting her on his bed before closing the door. He preferred his door shut, but if he were told to open it, he would. When he turned back to her, he smiled a little as he watched her open up her backpack, dumping the contents on the bed. He noted a colouring book, a pencil case, a notebook, and a few items of clothes and other things. He went and sat on the other end of the bed, he picked up the notebook. The notebook had in a kid's handwriting, which he guessed was Monica's as it read ' _Monica's Book. Don't Touch._ '.

"What do you do in this book?" He asked, not opening it up.

Monica looked up, smiled a little. "I draw. I like to draw. Mummy says I am the best she's ever known."

Austin smiled a little. "I bet that is true, your mummy is very talented, it would be no surprise if weren't good at something. Am I able to look through it?" He asked, tilting his head to the side a little as he did. Monica gave a small nod, grabbing for the pencil case before grabbing the colouring book. Austin gave a small nod in return and opened up the book. He couldn't help but smile, the drawings were wonderful and very colourful. Well one was very red; it was in the middle of the book. It got him very curious. "Monica, what is this one?"

His question was met with a shrug as the little redhead looked up at the picture he was showing. "Don't know, but mummy doesn't like it much. She get's sad when she sees it."

Austin nodded a bit before continuing through the book. When he was done, he set it to the side. "You are a wonderful artist. You tried paint?"

"No, grammy said it was too messy. She wouldn't let mummy buy it."

A light frown spread across Austin's face, making Monica reach over, using her finger to push the frown into a smile. "Don't look sad. I don't like mummy sad. I don't like you sad." At those words, the corners of his lips turned up a bit. "Can we do dress up?" Monica asked putting aside the pencil she had in her other hand.

"Of course we can. What have you got?"

Monica smiled and picked up one of the bandanas from the pile of things, she moved herself so she was standing on the bed, in front of Austin. She tried her best to try and wrap it around his head, but it wouldn't work when she tied it. It fell every time, making a cute little frown form upon her lips. "Here, let me help you. Let's try around here." Austin said, lightly grabbing hold of her hands, guiding them down to near his neck. "Now try to knot it. I will say if it's too tight." Monica nodded, and started to tie it. She smiled proudly when it stayed in place, when the knot didn't start to come undone.

Time flew by and the pair were drawing and colouring in when Paige came in with lunch. Monica jumped off the bed and sat on the floor with her plate of pancakes, Paige ruffled her daughter's hair a little before giving Austin his plate, which consisted of a small portion pancakes, a little pudding cup, a sandwich and a few pieces of fruit. Austin took it and sat next to Monica, not wanting to sit higher than her. Paige left for a bit before returning with another plate and sitting next to them. The family ate, no one really saying anything, only Paige telling Austin to slow down, and telling Monica to be careful of the maple syrup. When they finished, eating, they were all smiling lightly. Monica handed her plate to her mother, who stacked it upon her plate and got Austin's plate and placed it on the pile she had in her hands. Before she stood up, she kissed Austin's cheek softly, like old times. She hadn't realised she had done it as she took the plates away.

Austin was smiling widely, was this really working out? Were things getting back to normal? She never did that before, but he had seen the times where she fought herself to stop herself from doing it. Austin was in a little daze that was broken by a bubbly redhead, bouncing in his vision. "Heey, what do you want to do now?" Austin asked.

"You love her." She spoke in that kid voice, which sounded almost like teasing. There was a smile upon the little girls face.

"I do. I do love her. So much, I want to marry her." He replied with a huge grin, bopping her nose with his finger.

"Then marry her."

Austin's smile faded a little. "It's not that easy. I may have to wait. Until I'm better and until things between us are fully better."

"But you love her, why wait? She loves you. She hasn't kissed no one's cheek but mine since Uncle Jake."

"I don't want to push her." And plus, last time he tried to ask they ended up going separate ways but not by their choice. Not really. "Can I tell you a secret?"

Monica nodded and sat down in front of her father.

"I'm scared to ask. And not because she may say no. But because, I did once try to ask her, but bad things happened. We ended up on two different sides of a coin. I'm scared something like that may happen again and I don't want it too. I love her, and I love you."

"I love you too. I want you and mummy to be happy."

"Me too."

A knock, made the pair turn their head to the door. It was Paige in the doorway with Sherrie behind her.

"I didn't know I had an appointment with you." Austin said, standing up.

"I'm not here for you Austin, I'm here for Monica. Eliza wants to talk to you alone."

"Okay." Austin replied, before bending down to Monica who was pulling on the hem of his shirt.

"Ask her." She whispered into his ear, she had hidden her mouth as she did so. Then she grabbed her notebook and a few pencils before going with Sherrie.

Austin sat on the bed as Paige stepped in, closing the door behind her. The singer watched her, when she ran her hand through her hair that was when he noticed something new, it wasn't there when she left. It was…

* * *

She was wearing the ring, and it was sitting on her engagement finger. His eyes stared a little at her hand as she walked towards him. Snapping out of it, he opened his mouth to speak only to have his jaw closed by Paige's hand resting under his chin. Her face now was mere centimetres away from his, he could feel her breath ghosting upon his lips; she didn't move any closer, like she was waiting for something. When Austin realised, she was waiting for him to give her the green light to continue he moved his face just ever so slightly towards hers, in the corner of his eyes he could just see her lips curl up into a smile before they slowly crashed against his. The kiss was slow and soft; Paige managed to sit herself down on Austin's lap. When they pulled apart, Paige moved to rest her head between his shoulder and neck, as she did, she moved her hand to grab hold of his. As their fingers intertwined, she pressed a light kiss to his collar bone that was showing in the cut of the top he was wearing. "I do." She murmured.

"Do what?" The blond mused, slightly unsure as to why she was saying it. He liked how they were positioned, just like old times. Bringing back good memories to him, making him smile a little to himself.

"Wanna marry you. I do. Don't wait this time." Paige replied, lifting her other hand, the one with the ring on it. "Because this is my answer, for whenever you ask; yes. Yes I will marry you. I won't have that rule of waiting till we are better, because look where that took us."

"That rule was made by both of us. We didn't want to rush into things." The singer countered, knowing that she was going down the path of blaming herself; he knows that path all too well.

"Maybe we should have. Because then, legally my mother should have let you into see me after she told you I died."

"You really want to marry me? Even though we have not long ago been brought back together."

"Yes, Austin. Because I have never stopped loving you, never since when I walked passed that line of love when you came into my room that day. When you saw the cuts, when you showed that you truly did cared. I walked that line, and I can't go back. I tried, with Derek, but it wasn't the same. Nothing could compare to the way I love you. I really want to marry you, and if it comes to it, I might ask."

"You technically did. Already, ask. You brought it up, you wearing the ring. So… are we?" Austin asked.

Paige pulled away from where she was and nodded. "Yes. We are." As she finished her sentence, she grinned widely before wrapping her arms around Austin's neck in a quick motion, making them fall back onto the bed with a laugh. Paige lifted herself up so that she wasn't letting all her weight on him, she shifted so that her legs rested on either side of his and her lower half was pressed lightly against his, while her top half was slightly raised from his chest. Her hair dangled in her face and Austin reached up to push some of it behind her ear, making her smile again.

"I love your smile. That was one of the things I really missed about you. Seeing your true smile, I'm very happy that I am the one be able to make it happen." Austin commented as he rested his hand on her cheek. She leant into the touch, kissing the bit of palm that she could see at the corner of her eye. "I love you."

"I love you too." Paige replied before leaning down to kiss Austin, who leant up to meet her lips. The kiss started out slow, and so did the kisses to Austin's jaw. They were slow as she moved one of her hands to undo the bandana from his neck so that she was able to kiss him there. She kissed a trail of kisses from one side of her now fiancé's neck to the other. Reaching the other side, she took her time and sucked a bruise onto the side. Giving him an excuse to keep wearing the bandana around his neck, he looked good in it. Her hand trailed down his side, stopping at the hem of his shirt, of which she fisted into her hand. Waiting for Austin to give her a signal as to what she can do next, she lifted her head slightly to see him nod and smile at her.

He grinned, helping her take it off of him. All of his insecurities about his body, about his scars are disappearing from his mind because he knows he can trust her. That she won't judge him, or make a face when she sees them. Well, he knows she may have a quick look of sadness, but he knows, it was the feeling he had when he saw hers, but it didn't change his mind on loving her. His shirt was chucked to the side, and Paige's hands slowly trailed their way down his thin abdomen. She pressed a few kisses to his chest before sitting up fully and taking off her shirt, throwing it in the same direction that she had Austin's. The blond grabbed hold of her hands, taking in the sight of her, of all of her. Mentally he started noting every little new scar and the fading stretch marks on her stomach. Slowly, he took one hand, dragging his finger lightly across each scar on right arm. His finger made its way towards her shoulder before he decided to use his whole palm to run down her side, resting where a few of the marks where, letting his thumb run across them in a rubbing motion. "You haven't eaten much either." Austin commented lightly, doing what he did with her right arm, now with her left one.

"I know. The eating thing was for both us, you more though because you never had Monica to tell you to eat." She smiled and leaned down to press a kiss to his lips. "She is very stubborn, like you. Want to continue?"

Austin nodded lightly, and watched as she reached into her back pocket and pulled out a condom. "You brought that in?" He mused raising an eyebrow.

"No, Sherrie gave it to me. Well more like slipped it into my back pocket when we were talking before I came in for lunch. Said go have some fun, and winked at me before letting me go get yours and Monica's lunch." She spoke with a light laugh, making Austin laugh a little.

"Such a good friend you have." He replied, taking it and placing it down next to him. They'll put it on later. They were going to take their time. And they did, their hands explored familiar yet new places, new scars serenaded with kisses, after they moved all of Monica's things off of the bed so nothing would be broken if they laid on it. A few bumps and laughs, but it was good, almost like their very first time. Which was Austin's first time, which made it even better for him. And this was the first time, in over five years that he has actually been with anyone like this. In a real ecstasy that even drugs cannot give him and he loved every second of it. Being this close and intimate with her, made him feel good. Made him realise that they can get things back on track; if they just do it the way they want too and not let anyone interfere with their lives.

When they finished, Paige curled up into his chest, tracing her finger in patterns that won't show on it. She placed a light kiss upon his chest as she felt his hand run through her short hair. Paige's skin was tan, she knew that she was always tanner then Austin, but right now it really did stand out. It stood out how pale he had gotten due to his drug abuse and barely eating. It would take a few months for him to get his colour back into him, but she didn't care as long as he was getting better, alive and breathing. The sheets covered them, barley, but they did.

"T… This was the first time I've done it since." Austin spoke in a quiet voice; he just wanted to tell her that. He doesn't know why exactly, just did. He wouldn't have cared if she had slept with anyone else in the past five years, nor would he blame her, she did after all in that time period think he was a jerk who ran out on her.

Paige lifted herself up so that she could look at him. "It is? Five years that was, and you haven't?" She asked, no tone or emotion could really be detected in it. Her question was met with a shake off his head. "So, I'm your first, and only?" That was answered with a nod of his head, making Paige lean in for a kiss. "I really wish I could say the same. I really do. But I really didn't do anything with anyone in the five years, but you know…"

"I do know. Your ex. And few people in between which happened at parties while you were drunk. But guess what, that's okay. I don't care, I still love you. As long as I am your only from now on." He said, pushing some of her hair behind her ear.

"Of course you will be. Hey, you like kids?" She asked playfully.

"Yes I love them. Always have wanted them." He replied, running a finger up her arm.

"Good…. Shit, I knew that too, yet I still think you…I'm stupid to have believed my mother, I am. And yet, you have forgiven me for it." Paige spoke with a slight cringe on her face as she lowered her head.

"It's okay Paige, I understand that you remembering that little fact could have escaped your mind, with what you have told me about your side of the story. And yes, I do forgive you, just like I hope you have forgiven me for all the crap I've done."

Paige nodded, moving her hand to run her fingers over the scars on his thigh. She was ghosting her touch, but it still sent a shiver down Austin's spine, a good shiver. "I do forgive you, wouldn't marry you if I hadn't. Relapsing is a part of life, and these, are battle scars of battles you lost. But you've won in the long run, because look where you are. In rehab, getting better, seeing doctors, you are trying to be a better person for those you love, and for yourself and that is all that matters."

Austin smiled a little, pulling Paige in closer, kissing her.

* * *

The newly engaged couple stayed like that until there was a knock at the door, making the pair scramble off the bed, grabbing their clothes and putting them on. Paige helped Austin with putting on the bandana so that it covered the mark, because maybe they shouldn't have really just had sex in the rehab centre, but hey, they were safe, that is all that counts. Plus, it was one of the doctors there that encouraged it by giving them a condom. After they were clothed Paige went and opened the door, while Austin started to pick Monica's things off of the ground and placing them back up on the bed, at the foot of the bed where the sheets weren't all that messy. When Paige opened the door, her leg was attacked by Monica hugging it. She looked up and saw Sherrie and… Mrs Moon? Didn't she have work?

"Hey. What's going on?" Paige asked.

"Your mother just tried to come in here and see my son. I want to see if he's okay, when I got here, she was being dragged out by security." Mimi said a scared look upon her face so Paige opened the door all the way so that she was able to see Austin at the foot of the bed. The look of relief spread upon her face, and she went to go hug her son, who hugged her back just as tightly. They haven't properly hugged in over three years. After she pulled away, she fussed over him. She was about to pull the bandana off, when Austin raised his arm to stop her. Monica, Paige and Sherrie left the room, leaving the two Moon's to their own.

"Mum, I like wearing these now. Don't worry, won't wear it too tight." It was a half lie, but half the truth.

"Okay, not hiding anything under there?" His mother fussed, which was met with a shake of his head.

"Thank god you are okay. Me and your father, we are sorry. We didn't notice this, a second time round and that maybe due to us not really seeing each other as often." Mimi said sitting on the bed, her son following suit.

"That's my fault mum, I know it was. I just… with me thinking Paige was dead; I didn't know what I was doing with anything. That clearly resulted in me not knowing what to do with you guys. But mum, please don't lie. I know dad isn't exactly okay with this. Even though I am getting clean… again." Austin said, looking down at the ground. "He barely wanted to visit me the first time, hasn't at all this time. He's disappointed in me isn't he? I went down that rockstar path you guys didn't want me too."

Mimi took in a deep breath and let it out, holding out her arms for her son to go into. "Okay, he just doesn't know what to do as well. That is all. He still loves you." She spoke in a reassuring voice, trying to not upset her son as she hugged him in a comforting embrace.

"But I've disappointed him, haven't I? I have, I never wanted to disappoint you guys, ever. Even when I was angry at you guys for trying to blame Paige for the things I did. I was just so hurt that you guys did that, plus, there was a nurse still feeding me the drug." He admitted. "I knew I disappointed you, and you guys were trying to blame her, someone else for my issues, I would have rather you be disappointed in me, than blame her so I lashed out. I don't think I ever actually apologised for that day, but I am sorry. I'm happy that you guys finally got back in each other's good books. Maybe you can again. I would hate for my parents to hate my wife."

They stayed quiet for a while, Mrs Moon, processing what her son just said, and him realising what he just said. "I mean, to be wife. We aren't married, yet."

"You're engaged?" Mimi asked, trying to hide the delighted tone in her voice.

"Yes Mum, we are. I am going to marry her. I am. Finally." Austin spoke with a huge grin as he pulled away from his mother to see her smile widely in return.

"I am so proud of you Austin. You love her right?" She asked which was met with a nod. "Stupid question, but I thought I would ask. I'm so happy for you, and for Paige. But I won't tell anyone, unless I am given the okay to do so."

"I know, and we literally just got engaged, so maybe just not tell dad yet. I want him to be happy with me first."

Mimi nodded, "No one has told Dez, but… he's back tomorrow, he was calling for you but I didn't tell him you were here. I thought maybe you wanted to tell him yourself. I am also guessing the same will go for the girls?"

The singer nodded, letting out a small sigh. He hasn't really kept in contact with them since they went away. Many different reasons for it, him being back on drugs, being with Justin, being in the studio or recently being in the centre. "No, but… Bring him here. Or get Paige too. He doesn't know about her either… well as far as I know."

"Okay. When will you tell the girls, because you know they won't be back for another four months?" Mimi questioned.

"I will tell them, when… I don't know. Mum, I don't know. They were disappointed in me the first time, they will be again."

"Sweetie, don't think those bad thoughts, because you're here. You're going to get married and live out one of your most wanted dreams and marry the love of your life. Maybe you called tell them that first, then tell them everything else, okay. And do it when you want too, not when anyone else says."

Another sigh left Austin and he looked down. "Thank you mum, for coming and seeing me today. Tell dad that I love him, because I do."

"I know you do sweetie. And we love you too. Monica has been playing with your toys, from when you were a kid. We dug them up for her, we hope you don't mind."

"I don't, as long she is happy with them I am."

"She is so much like you, yet at the same time, like Paige. You will make a great father to her. Know that okay. Don't doubt it, ever."

* * *

The next day rolled around, Austin had eaten at dinner, and at breakfast. Now a worker came up to him as he sat outside on one of the chairs.

"Austin, there is someone here to see you. Well a few, Eliza and Monica, and a guy named Dez. Do you want to see them?" He asked, to which Austin nodded, standing up and following him to the reception/waiting area where he saw his best friend with his fiancé and Monica.

"Austin, buddy, why didn't tell me?" Dez asked as he engulfed the shorter male into a hug, which was returned.

"Not easy. Didn't the first time, think I could do it the second time?" Was Austin's reply before he made a gesture for them to follow him outside into the nice warm, Miami heat. Paige sat down next to Austin while Dez sat on the other side. Monica bounced in front of Austin before asking to sit in his lap, doing so when he gave permission.

"Hey, Daddy how you been?" Monica asked with a huge grin on her face.

"I've been great." He replied, with a smile upon his lips before looking over at Dez, whose jaw was dropping to the ground.

"Okay… First, I learn that my cousin isn't dead. Second, I learn that my best friend is back in rehab. Third I learn they have a kid. What else are you going to tell me that I missed? You got engaged?" He joked, before seeing the looks upon his best friend's face, and the one that rested on his cousin's. "Oh my god you are. When did that happen?"

"Yesterday. Don't worry, I've only told my mother so far. When we do get married, you will of course be my best man." Austin said, playing a hand game with Monica. She had taught him a few the other day when they were in his room. "Um, Ally and Trish don't know I'm here, I haven't told them. Same reason I didn't tell you, I didn't want you guys to drop your work, or worry about me while you guys worked."

"You do realise that when we found out, we would have felt guilty. That we would have thought that you didn't trust us. Because if I'm honest, that is kind of how I am feeling right now Austin. That you couldn't talk to me, about all this. Especially when I needed it too Austin. Remember, I was told the same thing you were, that Paige was dead. I needed someone because my cousin died, but I couldn't because you refused to talk about her." Dez spoke, making Austin look to the ground. Paige noticed that something's needed to be sorted out between the two so she told Monica that they were going to go get everyone ice cream. "Austin look at me, not the ground." Dez said once Paige and Monica were gone, which was met with a shake of his head. The redhead male knew that he was probably feeling guilty, but he wanted to see his best friend's face. "Then just listen to me. Austin, I needed you, you needed me. I know you did, but every time I asked you about her, you were quick to change the subject or have a breakdown if it wasn't changed in time. You can't say I didn't reach out to you, you didn't want it. And, hell I'm still here for you even though you pushed me away, you pushed all of us away, yet Team Austin still stands."

"Barely, I'm pretty sure if Trish finds out about this she may just want to not be my manager anymore. Because you know, she once came in and told me that she was seriously thinking of quitting it. The first time. You know how I am; I can't deal with how I feel right. But… I am really sorry; clearly the thought of you being related to her left my head. I completely forgot she was your cousin. I am so sorry. I fucked up, and then I go and fuck up more because here I am, in this centre after getting back on the dam drugs."

Dez let out a small sigh "How long have you been back on them? Since Paige went away? Since you meet Justin again?"

Austin shook his head "No, um… three years ago, roughly. Three years. Um… Jake, he had came around to mine, asking if I knew anyone with connections to drugs. I did, I was dating Justin, a known drug dealer. So… I gave him like two vials, and a little bag. I… I didn't know what he was using them for; I thought he was asking for a friend. I don't know really, I might have been a little hangover when he came over. And later, Justin came home, asked about the missing drugs so I lied and said I was back on them… which in turn did make me go back on them. I swear if I had known why Jake wanted the drugs, I would have never have given them to him, I wouldn't have. And maybe, I would have still been clean."

"What did he want them for? Himself?" Dez asked with a tilt of his head, ever since that day that Paige had 'died' his Aunt cut off all contact with any of the Wade's so he doesn't know what his cousin is up to now.

"K-Kind of… Don't you know?" Austin's eyes staring intently at the ground.

"Know what Austin? Did he become addicted?"

The blond shook his head, "N-No. I don't want to tell you. I shouldn't. A-Ask Paige."

Dez frowned a little. "Fine, I will." He said with a defeated sigh, running his hand over his face he decided to change the subject. And they talked about what they had been doing lately, the redhead telling his friend a few stories until Paige and Monica came back with some ice cream, and he told a few more. They laughed a bit, until it was time for them to go, saying goodbye to Austin and making plans for the next visit.

* * *

After the ride home, Monica went to her room to play and Dez asked Paige about Jake that was the night the redhead found out about what happened. The expression and what Austin was telling him making more sense in his mind. The next time Dez visited his best friend, he made sure that he knew that Dez didn't blame Austin for what he did. Months had gone by, and Austin was out of rehab, just in time to see Ally and Trish arrive from the tour the next week. He was now living at Paige's apartment, and was surprised to see all his things were already there? Had she already decided he was going to move in with her? Or did she just store the boxes until he decided? Either way, he doesn't care because now here he was, sitting next to Paige as they watched the TV late at night. Monica was sleeping in her room; she had fallen asleep during the movie that they had watched. Paige's head was resting on his shoulder, when Skype popped up, saying someone was calling Austin. After the redhead moved slightly so that Ausitn could grab his laptop, the pair moved so that they could see the screen before Austin clicked answer and Ally and Trish's face popped up on the screen.

"Austin, you would not believe this…The Masked Dancer revealed herself. We were right. It was Paige." Ally rushed out as soon as she could.

Paige's eyes watched the two girls on the screen; Trish's face was scrunched as she was trying to see who else was with the blond. "Hey, Austin, did you finally dump Justin, because that looks like a girl next to you." Trish spoke, still finding it hard to see who it was. There wasn't much light on in the room that the couple were in.

"Yeah, he finally kicked that ass to the curb." Paige spoke, leaning up a bit to kiss his cheek. "And I do believe you are right about the Masked Dancer. I made that post, only today, two hours ago I think."

That was when the two girls' jaws dropped, eyes widening. "P-Paige. You got Paige back." Ally mused, a huge smile spreading across her face.

"I did. When you get back, we have to tell you a few things okay."

The two girls nodded before they all started to talk about what they should do when the girls get back to Miami. They had always planned a small party, and that is what happened when they arrived in Miami and were greeted by their friends. The party was to be held at the Music Factory, with only, their family and friends; Dez, Austin, Paige, Monica, Mr and Mrs Moon. Ally's father had something on, and her mother was still in Africa but sent her love. Austin and Dez were bringing the girls to the Factory while Paige and the Moon's set it up, with Monica drawing in the corner. She offered to help, but Mike told her that they were okay and that she can just draw. And that was now what she was doing. The doors opened up, and the others walked in. Monica pulled the string on her party popper with the help of Mrs Moon. Everyone did a quick round of 'Hellos' before Ally turned to face Paige and hugging her tightly.

"Paige, I missed you so much." The brunette said pulling away with a smile. "Now, what did you and Austin have to say? You did say that you had something you wanted to tell us."

Paige nodded; Austin had walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. "That we do." She replied, reaching her hand up to rest upon his cheek and she leant in to kiss his other cheek. That was when a gasp was heard.

"T-The ring. She's wearing  _the_ ring." Ally exclaimed excitedly.

"We got engaged." Austin confirmed with a smile spread across his lips.

A squeal left Ally's lips and she jumped up and down. "Yay, I still have the plans I had from five years ago. Do you guys have a date?"

"Before my next tour, if I have a next tour." The blond male replied, making nearly everyone tilt their heads.

" _If?_  Why if?" Trish asked going to grab some food and put it on a plate. Everyone followed suit, grabbing some food and sitting down. Monica took a seat next to Trish, as she took an interest in the women's clothes. Once everyone was seated, Austin let out a small sigh, biting his lip.

"If Jimmy doesn't drop me from his label, I will have another tour for sure, but at the moment he is telling me to wait because he isn't too sure if he wants me on his label anymore."

"Why?" Was the question on everyone's mind, others clicked on to what he meant while he knew the two girls didn't even know.

"I…" He took in a deep breath, letting it out, feeling a little more courage go through him when Paige gave his hand a little squeeze but that didn't stop the guilt that ran through him. "I got into drugs again. I… went to rehab though. Not long after you guys went on tour did I go into rehab. Paige was the one to check me in, I'm sorry. I just… I screwed up again, but hopefully you can forgive me at some point, because I have only now just told you and I won't expect you to do so right away."

Austin looked up and saw a light frown upon Ally's lips, while he couldn't figure out what was going on in Trish's mind, not until she spoke up. "I'm no longer your manager." She spoke, putting her plate to the side, standing up and picking up her bag.

"What?" Ally asked her best friend, standing up herself before looking at Austin who sat next to Paige, burying his head a little into the redhead's shoulder not saying anything about what had just happened. "Austin, why aren't you saying anything about what she said? You are just going to let her quit?"

"Why should I? She had already told me once, that she would quit, that was over seven years ago. I knew what might happen, but I want to be honest. And if that means I lose my manager of ten years, I'm sorry." Austin replied from his little crock in his fiancé's neck, not wanting to look up at his friends. Not wanting to see the look's he knows will be now etched up their faces. "If she wants to stop being my manager, let her."

"Trish? What the hell man? I thought you would have been more supportive of him, for him." Ally asked

"I'll still be his friend, but not his manager. He can go find a new one. And now, I'm going home. Jase is waiting for me." She spoke before leaving the studio, leaving everyone there in silence. When she left Monica moved from where she was to where Austin was, pulling a bit on his jeans asking for him to pick her up. And he did, pulling her into a hug.

"You okay daddy?" The little redhead asked pulling away from the hug, reaching her hand up to move some of his hair out of his face. A little smile spread across both Paige and Austin's face at the action.

"I am sweetie." Austin replied with a light kiss to her forehead. "Now go back to your food, we will go home when you are ready."

Monica nodded and gave her father a kiss on the cheek before climbing off and going back to her place, which was now next to Ally.

* * *

It was a few months that was how long it took them to plan the wedding and now was the day. Austin was in a tux, a smile was plastered on his face from the start of the week. Twenty Six and getting married to the love of his life, so it would have been an understatement to say he didn't tear up a bit when he saw Monica starting down the path to him in her little blue dress. When Paige started down, his smile grew wide and he already wished it was over so he could just hug and kiss her. Her white dress a lovely strapless that finished just above her knees and a bow that acted as a trail. It was summer and no one was going to wear a long dress, plus Ally had taken this design from one of Paige's books and helped Dez make it. Ally was her maid of honour, she was wearing a pale yellow dress and Dez was of course Austin's best man. The ceremony went by, and it was the best day of their lives and they got to share it with those that they cared about the most. At the reception, Monica was running around a bit with Derek's nephew having the time of her life while everyone else was on the dance floor after eating. Soon the cake came out and Paige called for Monica who came to her mother's side. She helped Paige and Austin cut the cake and was given the first piece but before she could take a bite Paige bent down to whisper in her child's ear. A light smirk graced the tall redhead's face, making Austin tilt his head a little, wondering if he should be worried about what she has told their daughter.

"Daddy?" Monica asked, and the blond bent down to his daughter's level.

"Yes, sweetie?" He replied with a small smile.

"Do you like cake?" To which Austin replied with a nod. Then within seconds Austin's face was covered in cake as the young redhead pushed her piece of her cake into her father's face. A little laugh falling from her lips, which made everyone in the room laugh too.

Austin stood up straight, turning to face his now wife "Corrupting our daughter are we?" He mused with a smug smirk on his face.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Golden Toes." Paige replied, playing innocent all the while her smirk never leaving her lips. She could see Austin was fighting the urge to laugh at the nickname; it was one that Dez uses at times. And now she does.

"So she thought of smashing the cake in my face all by herself, that wasn't what you told her when you whispered in her ear?" His hand reached out to the cake, grabbing a piece of the cake. He noticed the little step back that she took. "Do you like cake Paige?" He asked before stepping forward and pushing the cake into her face before she could answer the question, not that he was looking for one. Everyone laughed and so did Paige, Austin then pulled her close with his clean hand before leaning in to give her a kiss, which was returned. When they pulled away they were smiling widely. "You taste very nice." Austin spoke just before he licked off some the cake off of her face.

They finished cutting and giving out the cake before they both went off to clean of their faces in the bathroom. After ten minutes of still being in the bathroom Ally went off to go find the couple and when she did, they were cleaned up but were now making out. Making the brunette groan and pull the pair apart. "As much as we all would like a make out fest, you have guest to entertain…. Preferably without the whole making out." Ally commented, with a light playful tone, gesturing for the pair to head back into the hall. And they did, followed by her not far behind.

* * *

It was two months later and Austin was ready for his American tour, it was going to be his last tour for a while because of a few reasons. One is that he is switching labels after this tour, and lastly he wants to spend a bit of time with his family without the hassle of having to meet deadlines for his career. Oh… and there is one more reason that he hasn't found out about yet, but it is sure to be one. Paige and Austin were lying in their bed, facing each other after they had finished packing Austin's things for the night before he was to leave. Running her finger lightly across his cheek she smiled before asking "How many kids are you wanting?"

His lips curled up as he thought about it before he replied "I would like at least two; I didn't like being an only child. How many do you want?"

A huge smile spread across her face before she placed a quick kiss to his lips. "We can start with two; we'll see where that takes us."

"Two is a great start. When do you want to go for the second?" Austin asked, running a hand through her hair, playing with it in between his fingers.

"What if we don't need to try for the second one? What if we've already done that?"

Austin's eyes widened as he realised what she was trying to say, a massive grin taking place over his face. "Oh my god, you're pregnant. But this is different from last time." He said, noting that last time for at least a few weeks she didn't feel too well but now she was feeling okay.

"That's because last time I was still on my medication and we both were still working on our bad eating habit. And because this time, since we have cracked down on it and I'm eating right. Plus, I caught it early this time. I grabbed a few test when I missed a few days instead of just waiting for it to maybe come back. But yes, I am pregnant. You are going to be a father…again."

"And this time I can be there from the start. I just wish I was…." Austin was cut off by Paige pressing her lips to his.

"Don't go down that path of thinking. Not right before you go on tour. I understand what happened, Monica knows something screwed up and that is why you weren't around for a while."

"Five years is more than a while…" He trailed off before placing a kiss upon her forehead. "I can do most of the caring, or the night stuff or whatever to make up for me not being there for Monica."

"It's okay. You're going to be here for this one. Plus, remember. I'm going with you for this tour… same with Monica. We won't be that far away. I love you."

"I love you too."


End file.
